[1865] in Humor
HUMOR CLASSIC: A Letter From Home
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Sat Feb 1 18:28:57 1997
Date: Sat, 1 Feb 1997 18:24:06 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: abennett@MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
And NO, I DON'T want to know where you've seen this before. It's a classic
and been out there for a while.
-Drew
From: amarkina@MIT.EDU (Aleksandra Markina )
Date: Sat, 1 Feb 1997 16:24:30 -0500 (EST)
From: "=]" <chengc@engin.umich.edu>
A LETTER FROM A WEST VIRGINIAN MOTHER TO HER DAUGHTER
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Dear Louanne Ellie Mae:
I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read
fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read
in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your
home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because
the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers
when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine.
I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and
pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad
here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days
and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to
send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be to heavy to send in
the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in
the pockets.
John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really
worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found
out what it is yet so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle.
The baby looks just like your brother....
Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried
to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We
had him cremated and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck.
Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your
other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't
get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time.
Nothing much has happened.
Love, Mom
P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was
already sealed.
