[1864] in Humor
HUMOR: Muddy Season at the Endor Nursery
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Fri Jan 31 22:01:49 1997
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 31 Jan 1997 21:56:06 EST
Date: Fri, 31 Jan 1997 21:36:07 EST
From: Nick Mathewson <nickm@MIT.EDU>
Andrew --
My mom is a nursury school director, so the first time I saw the
Death Star Daycare piece, I forwarded it on to her. I received
the following reply:
MUDDY SEASON AT THE ENDOR NURSERY
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Mathewson,
Thank you for your inquiry about our pre-school program for your
offspring. It is wise to, as you put it, "shop around" for the
optimal learning experience for your child, and with so many new
choices, such as the Death Star Daycare, making the right match
can be confounding. I am happy, therefore, to answer your well
chosen questions.
Our school has a teaching staff of fully licensed early childhood
professionals. Our servo-droids are used only as aides and
maintenance workers, unlike some larger facilities which I will
not name, where servo-droids are used in place of licensed staff.
We are a parent co-op, therefore any of the 5 recognized sexes of
parents can fulfill the parent co-op responsibility in the
classroom.
Our student body is, again unlike some less integrated schools
which will remain unnamed, made up of representative populations
of the 46 galactic sentient races. Our inclusion policy is used
as a model through out the galaxy. Our curriculum is likewise
multi-cultural. Enclosed, please find the holo-vid taken at our
winter solstice program. Perhaps some explanatory notes will be
of interest. Rebecca (the Wookie) and Skeezix, (the Ewok) have
used the team approach to fashion a hairball Nativity scene,
typical of the eary mission style on their planets. Jason NXQ-j11
has sculpted a menorah out of wax made by the genetically
engineered kibbutzbees of his home planet. Fortunately, as you
can see, we were just able to prevent Bubba (the Hutt) from
devouring the wax creation, which he had mistaken for a Huttenese
confection made out of barbed ice and whipped sugar, commemorating
the "teeth of the D'narph" into which sacrificial victims are
hurled at this time of year to "bring back the sun".
This might be a good time to mention that we have an advisory
council in place to work with any of our students who have
suffered trauma, such as experienced by Bubba at the loss of his
dad at the unfortunate barge accident. His "acting out" has
almost become a non-issue, thanks to our social services team. He
has come a long way from tying the Polly-Pocket Dolls to bristle
blocks and melting them in our Easy-Bake oven.
Our philosophy of education is more in sympathy with the tenets of
the Rebellion than of the Galactic Empire. For example, a simple
re-direction or at most a "time out" is more likely to be put into
practice than a searing mind-probe. We feel that modeling the
behavior of the Light Side of the Force is a more successful tool
than the less self-directed and usually more painful Dark Side,
which may be immediately more effective, but has the side effects
of lessening creativity and impairing socialization.
We do have field trips, which typically integrate some aspect of
our curriculum into a hands-on experience. We also have special
guests, such as Dr. Shemphques oral hygene presentation with
virtual reality rancor puppets, and Bhumisyoda's (grand-nephew of
of Jedi Master himself) workshop on kiddie levitation in our fully
padded gym.
I hope I have answered all of your questions, but I urge you to
schedule a visit to our school with your child.
I can be reached at...
