[1723] in Humor
HUMOR: The Twelve Days Cost 5% more...
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Mon Nov 25 14:13:33 1996
Date: Mon, 25 Nov 1996 14:05:34 -0500
From: abennett@MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
To: humor@MIT.EDU
PITTSBURGH, Nov. 14 (UPI) -- Prepare to pay more for dancers, pipers
and maids-a-milking if you plan to follow the Twelve Days of Christmas
shopping list this year, economists said Thursday.
The PNC Bank says most of the increase is in service costs with
lords-a-leaping and ladies dancing going up in price, while the price of
partridges, swans-a-swimming and even gold rings remains stable.
The ``true cost'' of buying all 364 gifts mentioned in the holiday
song's 12 verses would top $54,400, an increase over 1995 prices of more
than 5 percent. The price tag would include 12 partridges in a pear
tree, 22 pipers piping, 36 calling birds, 40 maids-a-milking, and so on,
as each gift is repeated 12 times.
By comparison, buying just one of each item would be a bargain,
totaling just under $13,200. The single-item total cost, however, also
grew more than 5 percent from last year, the bank said.
``The increase in the PNC Bank Christmas Price Index is due to
entertainment costs, not prices of goods,'' said J. Patrick Bradley, a
PNC researcher. ``This shows us that overall demand for the gifts in
'The Twelve Days of Christmas' has slacked off,...which could mean a
slow Christmas season.''
Nine ladies dancing, 11 pipers piping and 12 drummers drumming
represented most of the increase in the individual price index this
year. The largest increase was seen by nine ladies dancing, whose
performance is bringing in $3,258, up from 1995's figure of $2,606.
The cost of a performance by 11 pipers piping is $1,137, up by $28
from last year. Twelve drummers drumming would cost $1,232 this year, an
increase of $31 from 1995.
Eight (non-union, probably) maids-a-milking would earn a mere $38,
but that's an increase of almost 12 percent from last year, a result of
the increase in the minimum wage that took effect on Oct. 1.
The costs of all of the other items remained the same -- one partridge
in a pear tree still costs $27.50, two turtle doves fetch $50, three
French hens cost $15.
--
Andrew Bennett *MIT Dept. of Ocean Engineering* abennett@mit.edu
MIT Room 5-424 abennett%athena@mitvma.bitnet
77 Massachusetts Ave. Phone: (617) 253-5730
Cambridge, MA 02139 <Standard disclaimers apply>
--> Johan Gaspar Spurzheim 1776-1832, The Father of Phrenology <--
