[1701] in Humor
HUMOR: Scheme Explained
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Sun Nov 17 21:37:17 1996
Date: Sun, 17 Nov 1996 21:33:45 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: abennett@MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
From: katyking@MIT.EDU
Date: Sun, 17 Nov 1996 15:52:05 EST
From: "Danyel A. Fisher" <daf1@cec.wustl.edu>
[from: alt.humor.best-of-usenet]
Subject: Re: Q: What are the possibilities of Scheme?
From: vfr750@netcom.com (Will Hartung)
Newsgroups: comp.lang.scheme
David.Pues@student.ac.be (David Pues) writes:
>My question is : what is Scheme used for? (so: benefits, uses, ...)
Here's the answer that you're looking for:
Scheme is used for just a whole bunch of stuff. It's a general purpose
programming language that can do general purpose things. It is not as
advanced commercially as Lisp, but pretty popular in acadamic circles.
There are fast implementations, there are slow implementations, there
are big and small implementations. Which is really a blessing and a
curse -- there are a LOT of implementations.
I think that it can (almost) be safely said that there is SOME
implementation somewhere that supports your platform for whatever
application you want to write.
Schemes weak point is in lacking a standard way to extend the system to
adapt to the packages that keep popping up for all of the OS's,
specifically graphics extensions (like the Windows API, etc).
Now, here's the answer that's you're not looking for:
Scheme is programmer poetry. It is used to help cleanse the soul of
programmers who must use lesser languages to earn their daily bread.
Programming in Scheme is like driving on an open freeway versus
commuting in gridlocked traffic. You can concentrate on the
destination versus trying to not get killed getting there. Scheme
stays out of your way, wrapping you in a clean, almost noise-free
environment.
But, on the dark side, Scheme is a beautiful singing siren, resting on
the white sand of a remote harbor that is deceptively shallow and
bottomed with jagged rocks. She sits waiting for programmers who may have
lost their way and find themselves out and about, searching for
Something Else. They see the beauty of Scheme, hear its song, and turn
their ships toward the white, sandy beaches that frame Her, only to
have their hopes crushed against the hidden limitations by the pounding
surf of "Commercial Deliverability, Corporate Confidence, and Business
Realities".
So, alas, the Professional Developers have body's in the gray
cubicles of Corporate America, shackled to their mortagages by C++ and
other horrors, while, inside, their souls scream for the peace and
purity of Scheme, the tranquility.
But you! For you it's not too late! Not everyone hears the sirens
call. It touches some more than others, but take it from someone who
has felt the touch!
DON'T RISK IT! RUN! FLEE! While you are still in the dark! Before it
claims another victim! DROP THE CLASS WHILE YOU STILL CAN!
Grab a "C++ in 21 Days" book, lock yourself in a round room, and
follow the chapters as it points you to the corners for answers. When
you exit, you'll have the support of zillions of others, on their
bait barges past the breakwater, content. Yeah, the environment is
ugly, it smells bad, and some of the company could be better...but
they seem to catch fish...not pretty or big fish, but enough fish to
get by on.
For the touched that are fighting the waves in the harbor, we
diligently struggle to dredge the bottom, to make the harbor deeper
and hopefully finally free Scheme out into the Real World.
Of course, when she arrives, she'll grab the limelight, toss us aside, and
court the muckraking pundits who've "Always known her".
But we'll know.
We loved her first.
Does that help?
=======================================================================
Andrew Bennett MIT Department Ocean Engineering
MIT Room 5-424 77 Massachusetts Ave.
Cambridge, MA 02139 <Standard Disclaimers Apply> Phone: (617) 253-7950
===== Area 51 ============== Bureau 13 =============== Network 18 =====
