[1681] in Humor
HUMOR CLASSIC: Hacker Barbie
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Sun Nov 3 22:25:36 1996
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 1996 22:15:24 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: abennett@MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 1996 04:08:27 -0500
From: mabehr@MIT.EDU (Michael Behr)
>>(LA, California) Mattel announces their new line of Barbie
>>products, the "Hacker Barbie." These new dolls will be released
>>next month. The aim of these dolls is to revert the stereotype
>>that women are numerophobic, computer-illiterate, and
>>academically challenged.
>>
>>This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie's very
>>own xterminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a
>>Nutshell" series. The Barbie is robed in a dirty button-up
>>shirt and a pair of worn-out jeans with Casio all-purpose
>>watches and thick glasses that can set ants on fire. Pocket
>>protectors and HP calculators optional. The new Barbie has the
>>incredible ability to stare at the screen without blinking her
>>eyes and to go without eating or drinking for 12 hours
>>straight. Her vocabulary mainly consists of technical terms
>>such as "IP address," "TCP/IP," "kernel," "NP-complete," and
>>"Alpha AXP's."
>>
>>"We are very excited about this product," said John Olson,
>>Marketing Executive, "and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will
>>offset the damage incurred by the mathophobic Barbie." A year
>>ago, Mattel released Barbie dolls that say, "Math is hard,"
>>with condescending companion Ken. The Hacker Barbie's Ken is
>>an incompetent consultant who frequently asks Barbie for help.
>>
>>The leading feminists are equally excited about this new line
>>of Barbie dolls. Naomi Wuuf says, "I believe that these new
>>dolls will finally terminate the notion that women are
>>inherently inferior when it comes to mathematics and the
>>sciences. However, I feel that Ken's hierarchical superiority
>>would simply reinforce the patriarchy and oppress the masses."
>>Mattel made no comment.
>>
>>Parents, however, are worried that they would become
>>technologically behind by comparison to the children when the
>>Hacker Barbie comes out. "My daughter Jenny plays with the
>>prototype Hacker Barbie over yonder for two days," says Mrs.
>>Mary Carlson of Oxford, Mississippi, "and as y'all know, she now
>>pays my credit card bill. Ain't got no idea how she duz it, but
>>she surely duz it. I jus don't wanna be looked upon as a dumb
>>mama." Mattel will be offering free training courses for those
>>who purchase the Hacker Barbie.
>>
>>The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to
>>deal with the complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to
>>Jail" will teach computer ethics to youngsters, while "BARB1E
>>R1TES L1KE BIFF!!!" will serve as an introduction to expository
>>writing.
=======================================================================
Andrew Bennett MIT Department Ocean Engineering
MIT Room 5-424 77 Massachusetts Ave.
Cambridge, MA 02139 <Standard Disclaimers Apply> Phone: (617) 253-7950
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