[1640] in Humor
HUMOR: Legislative Oopsies
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Tue Oct 15 09:53:51 1996
Date: Tue, 15 Oct 1996 09:46:20 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: abennett@MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
>Date: Mon, 14 Oct 1996 21:45:46 -0800
>From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
>From: "archerp" <archerp@aisx.com>
>
> COLLECTION OF LATEST LEGISLATIVE OOPS OF THE TONGUE
> By: Jack Wardlaw, The Little Man
>
> Drum roll, please!
>
> It's time for the annual Tongue-Slipper Awards, for the best quips,
>busted metaphors, unintentional misstatements, dangling modifiers and
>Freudian slips of the just-completed Louisiana Legislative session.
>
> Such as when Rep. Avery Alexander, D-New Orleans, told the House:
>"I don't know anyone here that's been killed with a handgun."
>
> For starters, here are the winners in the "Truth in Legislative"
>category:
>
>* "I can't believe that we are going to let a majority of the people
> decide what is best for this state."
> --Rep. John Travis, D-Jackson.
>
>* "This amendment does more damage than it does harm."
> --Rep. Cynthia Willard-Lewis, D-New Orleans.
>
>* "I think we have passed something that we didn't want to do."
> --Rep. Chuck McMains, R-Baton Rouge.
>
>* "Y'all are hurting my tender ears. I would appreciate it if
> y'all would scream one at a time."
> -- House Speaker John Alario, D-Westwego.
>
>* Rep. Wilfred Pierre, D-Lafayette: "The Knights of Peter Claver
> is a large Catholic organization."
> Rep. Juba Diez, D-Gonzales: "I'm a large Catholic, and I don't belong
> to it."
>
>* "I was 15 years old before I ate my first chicken without
> tire tracks."
> --Rep. Jay McCallum, D-Farmerville.
>
> The Legislative Staff Award goes to the female staffer who was told
>that the gill net bill was coming up the next day and responded that she
>had to go home and coordinate the next day's outfit with her fishnet
>stockings.
>
> And there's the Senate staffer who asked Sen. Donald Hines, D-Bunkie
>(a medical doctor), whether he preferred being addressed as "doctor" or
>"senator." He responded:
> "I guess it depends on what kind of a problem you want me to
>solve."
>
> And finally, the Metaphor of the Year award goes to Sen. B.B. "Sixty"
>Rayburn, D-Bogalusa, who - while describing how it is to run a gauntlet
>of lobbyists to get to the Senate chamber - said:
> "They're lined up like cooters on a log on a sunshiny day."
>
>
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>
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>
