[1608] in Humor
HUMOR: Hey smart guy!
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Wed Sep 18 12:17:31 1996
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 18 Sep 1996 12:06:54 EDT
Date: Wed, 18 Sep 96 09:55:58 MDT
From: rmerz@redwood.dn.hac.com (Rulane Merz)
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Strange---but true
45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic
reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine
compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil
change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that
the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.
Portsmouth, R.I. Police charged Gregory Rosa, 25, with a string of vending
machine robberies in January when he (1) fled from police inexplicably when
they spotted him loitering around a vending machine and (2)later tried to
post his $400 bail in coins.
Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in Lake City, Florida for robbery of a
Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with only an electric chain saw,
which was not plugged in.
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The
clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after allegedly
knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of
money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds
each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers
easily jumped him from behind.
The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man suspected of
robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn't have done it *because he
was busy breaking into a school at the same time.* Police then arrested him
for breaking into the school.
Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in Pontiac,
Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said
the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket
could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be
wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge
could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and
laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.
Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz gave himself five-inch-long welts in
March when he tried to iron his polo shirt while wearing it. "I've ironed
that way five or six times," he said, "and never had it happen."
Dave so-and-so of Anniston, Alabama, was injured recently after he attempted
to replace a tubelike fuse in his Chevy pickup with a 22-caliber rifle
bullet (used because it was a perfect fit). However, when electricity
heated the bullet, it went off and shot him in the knee.
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