[1574] in Humor
HUMOR: Snigglets
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Wed Aug 28 10:20:00 1996
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 28 Aug 1996 10:12:33 EDT
Date: Wed, 28 Aug 1996 00:27:35 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
From: Mike Beyries <mbeyries@netmanage.com>
<forwards busily updating their online dictionaries ...>
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>
> Snigglets: words for things that should have words but don't
> =============================================
> ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid)
> adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.
>
> AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus)
> adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with
> your toes.
>
> AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um)
> n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its
> perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the
> nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.
>
> BURGACIDE (burg' uh side)
> n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself
> through the grill into the coals.
>
> BUZZACKS (buz' aks)
> n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and
> listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not
> connected.
>
> CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun)
> n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of
> lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
> examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more
> chance.
>
> DIMP (dimp)
> n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do
> you work here?"
>
> DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt')
> v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing
> on it, somehow assuming this will `remove' all the germs.
>
> ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma)
> n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror.
>
> EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz)
> n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter
> what direction you lean in, follow suit.
>
> ELBONICS (el bon' iks)
> n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie
> theater.
>
> ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun)
> n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the
> faster it will arrive.
>
> FRUST (frust)
> n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan
> and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to
> give up and sweep it under the rug.
>
> LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun)
> n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that
> one has to resort to the `illegal' side.
>
> NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see)
> n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.
>
> PEPPIER (pehp ee ay')
> n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be
> walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
>
> PETONIC (peh ton' ik)
> adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
>
> PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh)
> n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you
> were calling just as they answer.
>
> PUPKUS (pup' kus)
> n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
>
> TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun)
> n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you
> pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
>
>
