[1527] in Humor
HUMOR: New Job Codes
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Thu Jul 18 20:17:03 1996
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 18 Jul 1996 20:04:31 EDT
Date: Thu, 18 Jul 1996 17:57:03 EDT
From: Erik Nygren <nygren@MIT.EDU>
From: Katy King <t-katyk@microsoft.com>
> TO: ALL PERSONNEL
> FROM: ACCOUNTING
>
>
> It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been
> turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous
> Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). To our department, unproductive time
> isn't a problem.
>
> What is a problem, however, is not knowing exactly what you are doing
> during your unproductive time.
>
> Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list
> based on our observations of employee activities. The list will allow
> you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during
> your unproductive time. Please begin using this job code list immediately
> and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.
>
> Thank you.
>
> The Management
>
> Attached: Extended Job Code List
>
> Code Number Explanation
> ---------- -----------
> 5316 Meeting
> 5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
> 5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
> 5319 Waiting for Break
> 5320 Waiting for Lunch
> 5321 Waiting for End of Day
> 5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
> 5323 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker
> is Not Present
> 5393 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
> 5400 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested
> in Learning
> 5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
> 5402 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
> 5481 Buying Snack
> 5482 Eating Snack
> 5500 Filling Out Timesheet
> 5501 Inventing Timesheet Entries
> 5502 Waiting for Something to Happen
> 5503 Scratching Yourself
> 5504 Sleeping
> 5510 Feeling Bored
> 5511 Feeling Horny
> 5600 Bitching About Lousy Job
> 5601 Bitching About Low Pay
> 5602 Bitching About Long Hours
> 5603 Bitching About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)
> 5604 Bitching About Boss
> 5605 Bitching About Personal Problems
> 5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Bitching
> 5701 Not Actually Present At Job
> 5702 Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu
> 6102 Ordering Out
> 6103 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
> 6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
> 6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
> 6201 Stealing Company Goods
> 6202 Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Goods
> 6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
> 6204 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls in
> Order to Sell Stolen Company Goods
> 6206 Gossip
> 6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)
> 6210 Feeling Sorry For Yourself
> 6221 Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
> 6222 Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
> 6223 Pretending You Like Coworker
> 6224 Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality
> They are Jerks
> 6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
> 6350 Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
> 6601 Running Your Own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)
> 6602 Complaining
> 6603 Writing a Book on Company Time
> 6611 Staring Into Space
> 6612 Staring At Computer Screen
> 6615 Transcendental Meditation
> 7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)
> 7400 Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
> 7401 Talking With Plumber on Phone
> 7402 Talking With Dentist on Phone
> 7403 Talking With Doctor on Phone
> 7404 Talking With Masseuse on Phone
> 7405 Talking With House Painter on Phone
> 7406 Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
> 7419 Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone
> 7425 Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone
> 7931 Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
> 8000 Recreational Drug Use
>
------- End of Forwarded Message
