[1482] in Humor
HUMOR: It was bound to happen...
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Thu Jun 13 15:27:26 1996
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 13 Jun 1996 15:16:06 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Thu, 13 Jun 1996 13:56:57 EDT
From: Erik Nygren <nygren@MIT.EDU>
From: terry@cs.cmu.edu
1. ValuJet: When you just can't wait for the world to come to you.
2. ValuJet: We're Amtrak with wings.
3. Join our frequent near-miss program.
4. On certain flights, every section is a smoking section
5. Ask about our out of court settlements.
6. Our staff has lots of experience consoling next of kin.
7. Are our engines too noisy? Don't worry, we'll turn them off.
8. Complimentary champagne during free-fall.
9. Enjoy the in-flight movie in the plane next to you.
10. The kids will love our inflatable slides.
11. You think it's so easy, get your own damn plane!
12. Which will fall faster, our stock price or our planes?
13. Our pilots are terminally ill and have nothing to lose.
14. ValuJet: We may be landing on your street.
15. ValuJet: Terrorists are afraid to fly with us.
16. Bring a bathing suit.
17. Some airlines are content to fly thousands of feet over
landmarks, we try to get as close as possible for the best view.
18. That guy who crashed into the White House was one of our best
pilots.
19. Fly ValuJet. Find out if there really is a god.
20. ValuJet: Because real men land where they want.
