[1427] in Humor
HUMOR: Lucky Charms
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Mon May 6 15:40:19 1996
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 06 May 1996 14:54:20 EDT
Date: Sat, 04 May 1996 04:11:58 +0000 (GMT)
From: Espacionaute Spiff domine! <MATOSSIAN@aries.colorado.edu>
Date: Wed, 01 May 1996 12:05:01 -0400 (EDT)
From: Keith Bostic <bostic@bsdi.com>
Forwarded-by: psl@acm.org (Peter S. Langston)
Forwarded-by: "T. J. Morrison" <taurus@u.washington.edu>
Forwarded-by: ward.moore@autodesk.com
Ok, before you read this you have to know which is your favorite part
of Lucky Charms. Here are your options:
*green clovers
*blue diamonds
*orange stars
*pink hearts
*purple horses
*yellow moons
*the oat bits
LUCKY CHARMS
Amazing new study shows that your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow
bit shape determines what you're like in bed! Yes, it's true --- just take
this simple test to determine your true bedroom personality:
Green clovers: If your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow shape is
the green clover, you're a happy-go-lucky type in bed. You don't take
anything too seriously in the bedroom or elsewhere and always manage to
have a good time, even if you have someone else with you. You don't
have any patience with depressed people and tend to sit on them until
they cheer up.
Blue diamonds: If your favorite marhmallow shape is the blue diamond,
your thoughts in bed are mostly about what you'll get later. "If he
really enjoys this, will he buy me that mink coat?" is probably what's
going through your mind. People who like blue diamonds have a notebook
of preprinted fill-in-the-blank palimony suit forms and are the people
most likely to file their nails while making love.
Orange Stars: If your favorite shape is the orange star, you expect to be
the center of attention in bed. You expect your partner to spend most of
his time pleasing you and when you do something for him, you expect
enthusiastic moaning if not applause. People who like orange stars often
have mirrors over their beds, not because they are turned on by watching
what is being done, but because they want to be able to watch themselves
having a good time. They often moan out their own names while making
love.
Pink hearts: If you like pink hearts, you're the romantic type. You like
your partner to whisper romantic phrases into your ear and, if he's too
distracted to form coherent phrases, you'll settle for romantic syllables.
People who like pink hearts read most of the romance novels published and
are turned on by people wearing armor.
Purple horseshoes: If purple horseshoes are your thing, your tastes are
modern, uninhibited, and somewhat warped. You like variety in the
bedroom, especially when you can include handcuffs, chains, swingsets,
and chocolate pudding. Be careful when going out on a picnic with
anyone who likes purple horseshoes--she's likely to pin you down with
croquet hoops when you're not looking and who knows what could happen
next?
Yellow Moons: If you're the yellow moon type, you're more interested in
satisfying your partner's needs than your own. You prefer to lie back
and wait for your partner to jump on you and express her needs verbally
or nonverbally. People who like yellow moons usually own several pairs
of handcuffs and other instruments of kinky sex just in case someone
should ever want to tie them up and ravish them. Keep your eyes open for
anyone who eats all the purple horseshoes out of her cereal as soon as
she opens the box.
Those little oat bits that aren't marshmallows at all: If you prefer the
little oat bits, you probably don't like sex anyway and don't need to
read this article. People who prefer the oat bits usually become
accountants, librarians who work at the reference desk, or government
employees; these people like to chow down on a big bowl brimming with
oat bits before a tough day of protesting suggestive lyrics in rock
music. People who like oat bits have more time to spend writing letters
to the editor than any other type.
Enjoy your Lucky Charms!
