[1397] in Humor
HUMOR: Who Pays?
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Fri Apr 19 09:50:01 1996
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 19 Apr 1996 09:34:36 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Joice especially likes this one... :)
-Drew
Date: Fri, 19 Apr 1996 00:05:17 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
Subject: HUMOR: Who pays?
No cracks from the PC crowd out there...
From: rossix!rwc.dnet!apdma@openlink.one-o.com (Mary Ann Anthony)
Who pays on the date
For all you single women torn with this dilemma when on a date.
This is taken from The World According to HE & SHE by Julie Logan
and Arthur Howard:
If SHE wants to sleep with him, then it's a date:
HE pays.
If SHE doesn't want to sleep with him and if SHE's a nice person
who wants the "just friends" message to get through loud and
clear:
SHE pays for herself and insists on it.
If SHE doesn't want to sleep with him and if SHE's a nice person
but HE's rich:
HE pays but SHE offers.
If SHE doesn't want to sleep with him, SHE's not a nice person,
and HE's rich:
HE pays.
If SHE doesn't want to sleep with him, SHE's not a nice person,
and HE's not rich:
HE pays.
If HE pays but SHE doesn't want to seem like a freeloader:
SHE offers to help, HE refuses, SHE says she'll get the drinks or
coffee later.
If HE's cheap:
HE asks her to split the bill.
If HE's broke, they're close, SHE's not a nice person, and
they're going to a good place:
SHE feigns indifference to the financial catastrophe that awaits
him. HE pays.
If HE's broke, they're close, SHE's a nice person, and they're
going to a good place:
SHE slips him the money before they get to the restaurant.
If HE's broke, they're close, SHE's nice, and they're going to a
cheap place:
SHE pays.
If HE's broke, they're close, SHE's not nice, and they're going
to a cheap place:
SHE suddenly realizes that SHE has to stay home and wash her
hair... forever.
If SHE asked him out, it's his birthday, and they're in love:
SHE pays.
If SHE asked him out and it's not his birthday but HE knows
what's good for him:
SHE starts to pay, HE protests, SHE gives in.
If HE's a guy with any interest in seeing her again:
HE pays. Period.
