[1383] in Humor
HUMOR: It's The Law!
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Tue Apr 9 09:50:07 1996
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 09 Apr 1996 09:41:46 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Mon, 8 Apr 1996 23:27:32 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
From: geri@Rational.COM
The following laws are still on the books. Most are no longer
enforced and many contemporary lawmakers are not even
aware of the laws' existence or history. Some are state laws,
some are local within the states. Check to see if you have
broken any laws.
Alabama
**It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a
vehicle.
California
**Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal
for anyone to try to stop a child from playfully jumping over
puddles of water.
Connecticut
**You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles
per hour.
**You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
Florida
**Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as
can the salon owner.
**A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting
on Sunday or they risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
**If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee
has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
**It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a
swimsuit.
**Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Illinois
**It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and
other domesticated animals kept as pets.
Indiana
**Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
**Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theater
nor ride in a public streetcar within four hours after eating
garlic.
Iowa
**Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five
minutes.
Kentucky
**By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or
she "cannot hold onto the ground."
**It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
Louisiana
**It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller
with a water pistol.
**Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault,"
while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated
assault."
Massachusetts
**Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
**Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed
and securely locked.
**An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay
a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
**Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat
of their taxi during their shifts.
Nebraska
**A parent can be arrested if her/his child cannot hold back a
burp during a church service.
New Mexico
**Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
New York
**A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law
specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street
and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for
a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be
forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and
whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
North Dakota
**Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar
or restaurant.
Ohio
**Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in
public.
Oklahoma
**Violators can be fined, arrested, or jailed for making ugly
faces at a dog.
**Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without
being licensed by the state.
**Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to
congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
Pennsylvania
**A special cleaning ordinance bans homemakers from hiding
dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
**No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from
his wife.
Texas
**A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot
without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
**It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time
while standing.
Vermont
**Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least
one bath each week- - on Saturday night.
Washington
**All lollipops are banned.
**A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist
with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone
the chief of police as he is entering the town.
West Virginia
**No children may attend school with their breath smelling of
"wild onions."
