[138] in Humor
HUMOR: All I need to know I learned in D&D
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Fri Mar 11 14:32:18 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 94 14:28:31 EST
From: munch@MIT.EDU
Subject: HUMOR: All I need to know I learned in D&D
Date: Tue, 08 Mar 94 15:23:50 EST
Everything I ever needed to know, I learned in Dungeons and Dragons.
One stroke of bad luck can kill an inexperienced character, and
ruin your day.
A natural 20 always hits, a natural 1 always misses.
Wisdom is just as important as intelligence.
Only fighters may specialize.
If you make things hard for the DM, the DM will make things hard for you.
If something seems difficult, you can count on your friends.
Bards can't open locks.
If something seems impossible, disbelieve.
If it still seems impossible, hope you roll a 20.
Death is in the eye of the beholder.
You can be Chaotic, and still be good.
Someone else can be Lawful, and still be evil.
Not all problems are solved with the sword.
(some of them are solved with daggers, hammers, or axes)
Humans can't see in the dark.
With infravision, all humanoids look the same in the dark, regardless of race.
Always tip the innkeep.
Platinum is worth more than gold, which is worth more than silver, which is
worth more than copper.
Dead people don't need money.
(What good is a reward, if you ain't around to use it... --Han Solo)
Always look up.
Be careful what you wish for, or at least how you phrase it.
Armor is great protection, unless you are falling out of a boat.
No matter where you are, check for secret doors.
Not everything is as it appears. (see note above on disbelieving)
Perspective is the key to life... Which end of the sword are you on??
Famous DM quote: "Because I said so, that's why"
In our imaginations, we can create worlds. (does this sound like an Origin ad?)
All that glitters gold, probably isn't.
All that glitters red, is probably a red dragon.
Combat provides a brief moment of solace, usually followed by more combat.
Never break a wand of wonder.
Never lose your spellbook.
Ten kobolds can defeat a tenth level fighter. (ever hear of overbearing??)
There are no-win situations.
You can die.
This list was compiled by Stephen Schubert, wise in the ways of playing
and DMing, both in a fantasy world, and in life.
If you have any additions, send them to the one and only
"EVERYTHING I EVER NEEDED TO KNOW, I LEARNED IN D&D" compilation, along
with your name, to
SCHUBERT_S@SALT.PLU.EDU
feel free to share this with friends.
--Stephen Schubert
--aka Shoe
