[1273] in Humor
HUMOR: A Parable About Effective Management
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Tue Jan 23 11:06:26 1996
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 23 Jan 1996 10:38:52 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
Subject: HUMOR: The Flying Frog
Various sources...
{ forwards nuked }
FELIX THE FLYING FROG: A PARABLE ABOUT SCHEDULES, CYCLE TIMES, AND
SHAPING NEW BEHAVIORS.
Once upon a time, there lived a man named Clarence who had a pet
frog named Felix. Clarence lived a modestly comfortable existence
on what he earned working at the Wal-Mart, but he always dreamed of
being rich.
"Felix!" he exclaimed one day, "We're going to be rich! I'm going
to teach you how to fly!"
Felix, of course, was terrified at the prospect: "I can't fly, you
idiot......
I'm a frog, not a canary!"
Clarence, disappointed at the initial reaction, told Felix: "That
negative attitude of yours could be a real problem. I'm sending you
to class."
So Felix went to a three day class and learned about problem
solving, time management, and effective communication.... but
nothing about flying.
On the first day of "flying lessons", Clarence could barely control
his excitement. Clarence explained that their apartment had 15
floors, and each day Felix would jump out of a window starting with
the first floor eventually getting to the top floor.
After each jump, Felix would analyze how well he flew, isolate on
the most effective flying techniques, and implement the improved
process for the next flight. By the time they reached the top
floor, Felix would surely be able to fly.
Felix pleaded for his life, but it fell on deaf ears. "He just
doesn't understand how important this is..." thought Clarence, "but
I won't let nay-sayers get in my way."
So, with that, Clarence opened the window and threw Felix out (who
landed with a thud).
Next day (poised for his second flying lesson) Felix again begged
not to be thrown out of the window. With that, Clarence opened his
pocket guide to Managing More Effectively and showed Felix the part
about how one must always expect resistance when implementing new
programs.
And with that, he threw Felix out the window.(THUD)
On the third day (at the third floor) Felix tried a different ploy:
stalling, he asked for a delay in the "project" until better weather
would make flying conditions more favorable.
But Clarence was ready for him: he produced a timeline and pointed
to the third milestone and asked, "You don't want to slip the
schedule do you?"
From his training, Felix knew that not jumping today would mean
that he would have to jump TWICE tomorrow.... so he just said: "OK.
Let's go." And out the window he went.
Now this is not to say that Felix wasn't trying his best. On the
fifth day he flapped his feet madly in a vain attempt to fly. On
the sixth day he tied a small red cape around his neck and tried to
think "Superman" thoughts.
But try as he might, he couldn't fly.
By the seventh day, Felix (accepting his fate) no longer begged for
mercy.... he simply looked at Clarence and said: "You know you're
killing me, don't you?"
Clarence pointed out that Felix's performance so far had been less
than exemplary, failing to meet any of the milestone goals he had
set for him.
With that, Felix said quietly: "Shut up and open the window," and
he leaped out, taking careful aim on the large jagged rock by the
corner of the building.
And Felix went to that great lily pad in the sky.
Clarence was extremely upset, as his project had failed to meet a
single goal that he set out to accomplish. Felix had not only
failed to fly, he didn't even learn how to steer his flight as he
fell like a sack of cement.... nor did he improve his productivity
when Clarence had told him to "Fall smarter, not harder."
The only thing left for Clarence to do was to analyze the process
and try to determine where it had gone wrong.
After much thought, Clarence smiled and said:
"Next time...... I'm getting a smarter frog!"
- ------
p.s. Don't you think Clarence should have noticed the frog could
TALK???
