[1263] in Humor
The DosFish (Computing Humour of general interest)
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Joseph Sokol-Margolis)
Fri Jan 12 20:34:32 1996
Date: Fri, 12 Jan 1996 18:27:00 -0500
To: Judy Sokol-Margolis <SOKOL-MARGOLIS@a1.mos.org>,
MECVC_CAMBRI@a1.mec.mass.edu, nerds@genome.wi.mit.edu, humor@MIT.EDU,
bkort@musenet.bbn.com, willee@genome.wi.mit.edu,
JBOUDREAU@bics.bwh.harvard.edu
From: joseph@genome.wi.mit.edu (Joseph Sokol-Margolis)
Enjoy in your free time:
>
> The Dosfish
>
>Long ago, in the days when all disks flopped in the breeze and the
>writing of words was on a star, the Blue Giant dug for the people the
>Pea Sea. But he needed a creature who could sail the waters, and would
>need for support but few rams.
>
>So the Gateskeeper, who was said to be both micro and soft, fashioned a
>Dosfish, who was small and spry, and could swim the narrow sixteen-bit
>channel. But the Dosfish was not bright, and could be taught but few
>tricks. His alphabet had no A's, B's, or Q's, but a mere 640 K's, and
>the size of his file cabinet was limited by his own fat.
>
>At first the people loved the Dosfish, for he was the only one who
>could swim the Pea Sea. But the people soon grew tired of commanding
>his line, and complained that he could neither be dragged or dropped.
>"Forsooth," they cried, "the Dosfish can do only one job at a time, and
>of names he knows only eight and three." And many of them left the Pea
>Sea for good, and went off in search of the Magic Apple.
>
>Although many went, far more stayed, because admittance to the Pea Sea
>was cheap. So the Gateskeeper studied the Magic Apple, and rested awile
>in the Parc of the Xer Ox. And he made a Window that could ride on the
>Dosfish, and do its thinking for it. But the Window was slow, and it
>would break when the Dosfish got confused. So most people contented
>themselves with the Dosfish.
>
>Now it came to pass that the Blue Giant came upon the Gateskeeper, and
>spoke thus: "Come, let us make of ourselves something greater than the
>Dosfish." The Blue Giant seemed like a humbug, so they called the new
>creature Oz II.
>
>Now Oz II was smarter than the Dosfish, as most things are. It could
>drag and drop, and could keep files without becoming fat. But the
>people cared for it not. So the Blue Giant and the Gateskeeper promised
>another Oz II, to be called Oz II Too, that could swim fast in the new,
>32-bit wide Pea Sea.
>
>Then lo, a strange miracle occurred. Although the Window that rode on
>the Dosfish was slow, it was pretty, and the third window was the
>prettiest of all. And the people began to like the third window, and to
>use it. So the Gateskeeper turned to the Blue Giant and said "Fie on
>thee, for I need thee not. Keep thy Oz II Too, and I shall make of my
>Window an Entity that will not need the Dosfish, and will swim in the
>32-bit Pea Sea."
>
>Years passed, and the workshops of the Gateskeeper and the Blue Giant
>were many times overrun by insects. And the people went on using their
>Dosfish with a Window; even though the Dosfish would from time to time
>become confused and die, it could always be revived with three fingers.
>Then there came a day when the Blue Giant let forth his Oz II Too onto
>the world. The Oz II Too was indeed mighty, and awesome, and required a
>great ram, and the world was changed not a whit. For the people said "It
>is indeed great, but we see little application for it." And they were
>doubtful, because the Blue Giant had met with the Magic Apple, and
>together they were fashioning a Taligent, and the Taligent was made of
>objects, and was most pink.
>
>Now the Gateskeeper had grown ambitious, and as he had been ambitious
>before he grew, he was now more ambitious still. So he protected his
>Window Entity with great security, and made its net work both in serving
>and with peers. And the Entity would swim, not in the Pea Sea, but also
>in the Oceans of Great Risk. "Yea," the Gateskeeper declared, "though my
>Entity will require a greater ram than Oz II Too, it will be more
>powerful than a world of Eunuchs.
>
>And so the gateskeeper prepared to unleash his Entity to the world, in
>all but two cities. For he promised that a greater Window, a greater
>Entity, and even a greater Dosfish would appear one day in Chicago and
>Cairo, and it too would be built of objects.
>
>Now the Eunuchs who lived in the Oceans of Great Risk, and who scorned
>the Pea Sea, began to look upon their world with fear. For the Pea Sea
>had grown and great ships were sailing in it, the Entity was about to
>invade their Ocenas, and it was rumored that files would be named in
>letters greater than eight. And the Eunuchs looked upon the Pea Sea, and
>many of them thought to emigrate.
>
>Within the Oceans of Great Risk were many Sun Worshippers, and they had
>wanted to excel, and make their words perfect, and do their jobs as easy
>as one-two-three. And what's more, many of them no longer wanted to pay
>for the Risk. So the Sun Lord went to the Pea Sea, and got himself
>eighty-sixed.
>
>And taking the next step was he of the NextStep, who had given up
>building his boxes of black. And he proclaimed loudly that he could
>help anyone make wondrous soft wares, then admitted meekly that only
>those who know him could use those wares, and he was made of objects,
>and required the biggest ram of all.
>
>And the people looked out upon the Pea Sea, and they were sore amazed.
>And sore confused. And sore sore. And that is why, to this day, Ozes,
>Entities, and Eunuchs battle on the shores of the Pea Sea, but the
>people still travel on the simple Dosfish.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joseph Sokol-Margolis joseph@genome.wi.mit.edu
Assistant Systems Administrator seph@mit.edu
Whitehead Institute/MIT
Center for Genome Research phone: (617) 252-1922
One Kendall Sq. Bldg. 300 fax: (617) 252-1902
Cambridge, MA 02139-1561
----------------------http://www-genome.wi.mit.edu/~joseph/-----------------
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