[1253] in Humor
HUMOR: Useful(?) Statistics
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Fri Dec 22 08:57:11 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 22 Dec 1995 08:50:52 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Fri, 22 Dec 1995 01:37:05 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
Subject: HUMOR: TV Nation poll
From: "Karen Kienitz (415)725-5817" <KIENITZ_K@HOSP.STANFORD.EDU
In the holiday spirit, here are some very important polling figures to
consider, while braving the crowds at the malls.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael Moore's TV Nation hired a legit polling firm to poll
people on crazy stuff...
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
>From a telephone survey of 204 Americans, Spring 1993
* 65% of all Americans believe that frozen pizza will never
be any good and there's nothing science can do about it.
* 10% of the American public would pay $5 to see Senator
Orrin Hatch (R - Utah) fight a big mean dog on Pay TV.
86% of all viewers would root for the dog. 100% of women
viewers would root for the dog.
* 45% of Americans think rain doesn't feel as good in real
life as it seems to in the movies.
* 16% of Perot voters believe "if dolphins were really smart,
they could get out of those nets."
* 65% of American women believe there is "a lot of
difference" between a campaign contribution and a bribe.
Only 35% of men see a difference
* 70% of American women have never had an emotionally
satisfactory relationship with a Republican
>From a telephone survey of 229 Americans, Summer 1994
* In the past year 36% of Americans have chanted "We're
Number One!" Only 22% of Bush voters have chanted
"We're Number One!"
* 62% of Americans believe a trip to a major theme park is
more culturally enriching than a trip to the Reagan Library
* 39% of Americans believe that guns are not "as
dangerous as they say".
* 15% of Americans wish Dennis Hopper would go back on
drugs.
* 29% of Americans believe that Elvis was right to shoot TV
sets.
* 29% of Perot voters say "The candidate I vote for usually
loses."
* 11% of Americans that suffer from indigestion would
rather retake the SAT than watch a Jesse Helms filibuster.
* 12.5% of Americans that voted for Clinton believe that
they will someday be told "just what Victoria's Secret is."
98% of Bush voters believe they will never know.
* 88% of Bush voters "have no idea what rappers are
talking about."
* 14% of Americans surveyed agreed that Puerto Rico
should not be the 51st state because "that extra star would
make the flag look bad."
>From a telephone survey of 208 Americans, Winter 1994
* 35% of Americans believe Richard Nixon went to heaven.
59% believe he went "someplace else."
* 34% of those who voted Republican in the last election
believe "Forrest Gump" was a documentary.
