[1240] in Humor
HUMOR: Potpourri
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Fri Dec 8 09:41:57 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 08 Dec 1995 09:31:26 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Thu, 7 Dec 1995 17:40:08 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
From: "Michael Beyries" <mbeyries@smtpgate.Chelmsford.Telebit.COM>
< forwards removed to avoid copyright infringement suits and/or jackets :->
______________________________ Forward Header __________________________________
Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked
in the head like this before.
A thought for the day: In ''A Clarification of Questions,''
Iran's Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini wrote ''if a fly gets into
the throat of one who is fasting, it is not necessary to pull
it out.''
A day without sunshine is like night.
There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane". If
you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you
take it back and demand a refund?
College is a fountain of knowledge...and the students are there
to drink.
A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10
doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. -- Jay Leno
The Dalai Lama walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me
one with everything."
He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
<Name> - Alive, occupying space, and exerting gravitational
force.
Photons have mass? I didn't know they were catholic!
It is truly written that a man has five times as many fingers as
ears, but only twice as many ears as noses.
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the
game.
If you had everything, where would you keep it?
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because
someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at
the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University
What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?
When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the
occasional division by zero.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
When you're swimmin' in the creek and an eel bites your cheek,
That's a moray!
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the
bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
Character density: The number of very weird people in the
office.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
To err is human, to moo bovine.
The meek shall inherit the earth---they are too weak to refuse.
Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3---not even for very large
values of 2.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a
rock.
