[1218] in Humor
HUMOR: Science Made Simple
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Mon Nov 27 10:39:23 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 27 Nov 1995 10:32:30 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Mon, 27 Nov 1995 00:05:20 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
Subject: HUMOR: Today's lesson
From: "archerp" <archerp@aisx.com>
The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays,
exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from fifth and sixth graders.
They illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the "most interesting
information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop."
Question: What is one horsepower?
Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500
feet in one second.
You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to
getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
Talc is found on rocks and on babies.
The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.
When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms.
But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When
planets do it we say they are orbiting.
Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.
While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it
is really only centrificating.
Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.
South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage.
Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back
into a sun in the daytime.
Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees
between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and
south.
A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be
discovered. Finding them all means living forever.
There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because
of so much population stomping around up there these days.
Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be
oil.
Genetics explain why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you
should.
Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're
there.
Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so
sometimes it's brother against brother.
Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never
been able to make out the numbers.
We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets
blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions
are things that are still all mixed up.
In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as
many H's as O's.
Clouds are high flying fogs.
I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and
that is the important thing.
Clouds just keep circling the Earth around and around and around. There is
not much else for them to do.
Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a
drop, it does.
Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water.
We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe.
Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail.
Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.
Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the
strongest man.
A blizzard is when it snows sideways.
A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.
A monsoon is a French gentleman.
Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.
It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other
places.
The wind is like the air, only pushier.
