[1180] in Humor
HUMOR: Useful Items
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Fri Nov 3 12:17:10 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 03 Nov 1995 12:13:05 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Fri, 3 Nov 1995 08:52:39 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
From: marc@interserve.com (Marc Kenig)
From: art@midnight.com (Art Mellor)
From: glen (Glen B. Glater)
(Transcribed without permission from the Washington Post, July 30, 1995.)
In which we asked you to come up with useless products:
4th Runner-Up: Cream of Mushroom Slurpee
3rd Runner-Up: Seeing-eye giraffes
2nd Runner-Up: The Popeil Pocket Wasp & Hornet Teaser
And the winner of the nesting Russian dolls: New lemon yellow Ty-D-Bowl
Honorable Mentions:
Lobster Helper
"Welcome Home Kamikaze" banners
Purina Roach Chow
Miss Manners' Guide to Prison Etiquette
Mobius toilet paper
Frog arms platter
Birthday candle snuffers
Nuclear hand grenades
Snooze bar on a fire alarm
Sweet and Sour Maalox
Wild rat feeder
Hamburger Helper Helper
Car alarms for Yugos
Refrigerator tacks
Inflatable dartboard
Chutney-flavored condoms
Tuna-safe dolphin packed in oil
A light on the outside of the refrigerator to indicate when the light
on the inside of the refrigerator is off.
Scrabble, special dyslexics' edition
Intermittent headlights
Nymphomaniac Repellent
Vibrating bedpan
Roach Motel art
Bird laxative
Female pope fashions
Silicone thigh implants
Salted bandages
Kosher communion wafers
Ankle watch
Transparent colostomy bag
Can-opener-in-a-can
Corn niblet holders
