[42] in peace2
sexism at MIT discussion
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Jessica Millar Young)
Sun Jan 23 16:05:45 2000
Message-Id: <388B4153.6BB08461@cs.dartmouth.edu>
Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2000 17:58:43 +0000
From: Jessica Millar Young <jessica@cs.dartmouth.edu>
Reply-To: jessica@math.mit.edu
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Hi folks --
This is a follow-up to Karen's post. I also grew up
believing I was exceptional. My parents were both feminists,
and taught me to stay alert to various forms of sexism. I did
this conscientously, but never felt that I encountered
much (or when I did, it was easy to laugh off).
It seems very reasonable that my "different" identity ( an
identity that I was happy to have) was responsible for this.
While I had a strong desire to please people who were important
to me (my parents, my friends, my violin teacher), I wasn't
concerned with the general crowd.
Sexism is now a concern to me for three reasons.
First, I have become aware of personal beliefs and actions that
are detrimental. For example, I will repress my own desires
in an attempt to please people I love. This habit leads to less
awareness of my own desires, as well as less awareness of
the other person (since I often assume what they want, instead
of actually paying attention).
Second, I am no longer exceptional. I find myself surrounded by
academic equals and betters. Concurrently, I find myself much
more bothered by sexist behavior and assumptions by others.
Finally, I feel (like Karen) that elitism (fostered, in my case, as
a response to an environment of sexism)
made my self-doubt a much greater hurdle. Doing mathematics is one of
the great joys of my
existence. But so are breathing, loving, laughing, looking up at the
sky,
dreaming, having sex, talking with friends, eating good food, rubbing
my dogs, and listening to music.
We are all more similar than different, and our basic nature is
loving and kind (to echo his holiness, the Dalai Lama).
For me, confronting sexism means maintaining an open heart. It means
being able to hear what other people say and empathizing with them.
It means humbleness, self-examination, and willingness to change. It
also means speaking up when I am bothered or threatened. It
means supporting and
standing up for other people who are bothered or threatened. It means
educating others -- explaining to people why sexism hurts, and if they
understand that, explaining how to confront it themselves.
I am looking forward to continued discussions on the topic of sexism,
as well as the topics of gender and sex.
The stories and truths about gender and sex are many, and often
contradictory.
Creating dialog and conversation about these issues is valuable, and
helps in confronting sexism. And of course,
the most important thing is to value and respect each other as humans.
Jessica Young
