[11780] in Commercialization & Privatization of the Internet
FYI, Green Card humor from the 'net
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Daniel P Dern)
Tue Apr 19 13:20:13 1994
Date: Tue, 19 Apr 1994 09:31:04 -0400
From: ddern@world.std.com (Daniel P Dern)
To: com-priv@psi.com
For those of you who have better things to than read alt.humor.best-of-usenet,
here's some of the follow-up responses to the Green Card stuff.
Enjoy, DPD
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ROM: From: rjust@crl.com (Randy Just)
Newsgroups: misc.forsale.computers.workstation,slac.b-factory.particleid
Subject: Re: Green Card Lottery- Final One?
Edgar Perez (eperez@hpprdeb.prd.hp.com) wrote:
: Laurence Canter (nike@indirect.com) wrote:
: : Green Card Lottery 1994 May Be The Last One!
: : THE DEADLINE HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED.
: Does anybody know if this is a PCMCIA card?
: Edgar
Yep. It is one of those new green PC peripherals. I didn't know that
the new green components have become so popular they hold lotteries for
them. [[...]]
--
FROM: Newsgroups: alt.usenet.kooks,rec.humor
>From: watson@bellatrix.sce.carleton.ca (Stephen Watson)
Subject: Green Horn Lottery - Final One? (we wish!)
Keywords: lawyers tyrannosaurus rex
Green Horn Lottery 1994 Is Unlikely To Be The Last One!
THE DEADHEAD HAS BEEN FLAMED.
The UseNet Green Horn Lottery is a program by which a certain annual
percentage of net newbies are revealed to be clueless boors, having
failed to read the newusers info or do anything else to acquaint
themselves with the social norms of the community they have just
joined. The legality of this program varies: sometimes it is merely
the obnoxious broadcast posting of religious propaganda or
thinly-disguised advertising. Other times these people distinguish
themselves by promulgating old, tired scams like the Dave Rhodes
pyramid. The lottery is likely to continue into the indefinite
future, whatever Senator Alan J Simpson does, as it is impossible to
legislate against human stupidity. THE LOTTERY HAPPENS EVERY TIME A
NEW COMPANY GETS NET ACCESS, AND EVERY FALL WHEN A NEW BUNCH OF FROSH
ARRIVE AT UNIVERSITY.
ANYONE QUALIFIES, BUT BEING BORN YESTERDAY HELPS!
Human stupidity being widespread, there are NO countries not qualified
to enter.
Lottery registration will take place soon. No one knows how may Green
Horns will be become famous as net.boorish.oafs. NO CLUE IS REQUIRED.
THERE IS NO DEADLINE. THE TIME TO GET YOUR POSTING 'BOT READY IS NOW!!
For FREE information via E-mail, send to:
iam@clueless.com
=========================================================================
[cue Ed McMahon voice-over]
And the LATEST WINNER of the GREEN HORN LOTTERY is (envelope please):
*****************************************************************
Canter & Siegel, Immigration Attorneys
3333 E Camelback Road, Ste 250, Phoenix AZ 85018 USA
cslaw@indirect.com telephone (602)661-3911 Fax (602) 451-7617
--
FROM: wb8foz@netcom.com (David Lesher)
Newsgroups: news.admin.misc,news.admin.policy,news.groups,news.misc
Subject: Re: Green Card Posting
Hi,
My name is Dave Rhodes.
My friend Siegel Canter is dying of cancer and want to be in
Black's Law Dictionary for having the most complaints filed
against him. Please send a postcard to the Bar, and don't forget to
write my name on the card too......
--
FROM: Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative,rec.arts.startrek
>From: jzt023@ufp.main.gov (Ambassador Richard Tozuki)
Subject: Illegal Aliens
>From: jzt023@ufp.main.gov (Ambassador Richard Tozuki)
Subject: Green Card Lottery- Final One?
Distribution: alpha quadrant
Organization: United Federation of Planets (UFP)
Green Card Lottery 2374 May Be The Last One!
THE DEADLINE HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED.
The Green Card Lottery is a completely legal program instituted by the United
Federation of Planets (UFP) giving away a certain annual allotment of
Green Cards to persons born on certain non-Federation planets. The lottery
program was scheduled to continue on a permanent basis. However, recently,
Admiral Nachayev introduced a bill into the Federation High Council which
could end any future lotteries. THE 2374 LOTTERY IS SCHEDULED TO TAKE PLACE
SOON, BUT IT MAY BE THE VERY LAST ONE.
PERSONS BORN ON MOST PLANETS QUALIFY, MANY FOR
FIRST TIME.
The only planets NOT qualifying are: Romulus, Tholia, Cardassia, Kzin, Thalos
IV, and selected other planets listed as "closed for travel" to Federation
citizens in the document "Know Before You Go", available by subspace ftp from
ftp.ufp.main.gov, ftp.ds9.gov, or any other local Federation ftp site under
/pub/legal/travel/Know_Before_You_Go.
(Note: We have been receiving complaints about misuse of the USS Enterprise FTP
site ftp.ncc1701d.mil. Captain Picard informs me that this site will be taken
off line if use is not brought down.)
Lottery registration will take place soon. 55,000 Green Cards will be
given to those who register correctly. NO JOB IS REQUIRED (with the exception
of Ferengi who must prove established means of support.)
THERE IS A STRICT JUNE DEADLINE. THE TIME TO START IS NOW!!
For FREE information via subspace, send request to
info@ufp.main.gov with the subject header "Lottery".
--
*****************************************************************
Ambassador Richard Tozuki
Secretary of State, United Federation of Planets
124 Fisherman's Wharf San Francisco, Earth LX1235-4001
Subspace: jzt023@ufp.main.gov
FROM: Newsgroups: news.admin.misc
Subject: JESUS IS COMING (and he needs a green card)
>From: mljohn@admiral.std.com (Mari Johnson)
Can anyone recommend an attorney specializing in immigration law?
--
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- DPD
