[87] in UA Senate
Re: Updated "Response to Institute-wide Planning Task Force Initial
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Mike Bennie)
Wed Oct 14 08:06:13 2009
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 2009 08:05:07 -0400
From: Mike Bennie <mbennie@MIT.EDU>
To: hwkns@mit.edu
CC: ua-senate@mit.edu, ua-exec@mit.edu
In-Reply-To: <9d4f87ed0910140234u7c77b202s8bf4d1e36897f7f4@mail.gmail.com>
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Changes incorporated. Final document available
http://web.mit.edu/ua/docs/updated_taskforce_response.pdf.
Any issues from this point forward will be incorporated into the online
version only.
-Mike
Daniel Hawkins wrote:
> Last one! And most important. If you don't change the other stuff,
> change these:
>
> <major>
>
> Section 6.2.2, pg. 30-31:
> Still not fixed. Statements from Unified Proposal should be separated
> and indentation of first paragraph should be deleted.
>
> Section 6.3.1, pg. 32:
> "This idea involves tracking dorm usage metrics and *charging*
> residents individually for their portion of utilities, such as water,
> electricity, and heat."
>
> Section 6.4.2, pg. 34:
> The first paragraph of this section is a re-summary, not a position.
> Either scrap it or replace 6.4.1 with it.
>
> Section 6.5.2, pg. 37:
> "*Students* would appreciate the increased clarity of the system,
> but a re fined declining balance system should be examined within the
> context of larger changes."
>
> </major>
> <minor>
>
> Typo? (end quotation instead of start quotation - weird artifact of
> LaTeX) in 5.1.2, on bottom of pg. 28 ("Administrative Processes")
>
> Section 2.1, pg. 4:
> "Relaxation of *four*-year housing commitment."
>
> Footnote 9, bottom of pg. 34, broken link (probably because of the
> word "see")
>
> </minor>
>
>
> -hwkns
>
>
>
> On Wed, Oct 14, 2009 at 5:08 AM, Daniel Hawkins <hwkns@mit.edu
> <mailto:hwkns@mit.edu>> wrote:
>
> Found another typo. I'm also not too happy with the phrase,
> "reduction in student life." It sounds like students will be
> dying, as opposed to being angry.
>
> Section 4.1.2, pg 26:
> Kitchens and lounges are *[removed "an"]* important aspects *of*
> many dorms*,* and although we could squeeze a few extra dorm rooms
> into these spaces, doing so would destroy valuable sources of
> community.
>
> -hwkns
>
>
> On Wed, Oct 14, 2009 at 3:49 AM, Daniel Hawkins <hwkns@mit.edu
> <mailto:hwkns@mit.edu>> wrote:
>
> Only one actual typo that I've found so far:
>
> Section 1, pg 2
> "These positions pieces were collected by the *principal*
> officers, who formatted and edited them for consistency along
> with writing the introduction and the overarching issues in
> order to provide a more complete picture."
>
> And these are changes that I personally would have made, based
> on my preference of how the words flow; they absolutely don't
> have to be made:
>
> Section 1, pg 1
> "Throughout this process, members of the MIT community not on
> the Task Force *were able to* suggest or comment on
> recommendations using the Idea Bank."
>
> Section 1, pg 2
> "These feedback mechanisms provided a wealth of *information
> on how undergraduates* perceived the recommendations."
>
> -hwkns
>
>
>
> On Wed, Oct 14, 2009 at 3:02 AM, Mike Bennie <mbennie@mit.edu
> <mailto:mbennie@mit.edu>> wrote:
>
> Hey everyone,
>
> The response report has been copy-edited twice more and
> now includes two appendices with the data collected. The
> report is now available here
> http://web.mit.edu/ua/docs/updated_taskforce_response.pdf.
> If you have additional feedback or if you find a typo,
> please email me *immediately*. I am going to CopyTech
> tomorrow morning (opens at 8am) to get these reports
> printed for administrators.
>
> Thanks,
> Mike
>
>
>
>
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Changes incorporated. Final document available <a
class="moz-txt-link-freetext"
href="http://web.mit.edu/ua/docs/updated_taskforce_response.pdf">http://web.mit.edu/ua/docs/updated_taskforce_response.pdf</a>.<br>
<br>
Any issues from this point forward will be incorporated into the online
version only.<br>
<br>
-Mike<br>
<br>
Daniel Hawkins wrote:
<blockquote
cite="mid:9d4f87ed0910140234u7c77b202s8bf4d1e36897f7f4@mail.gmail.com"
type="cite">Last one! And most important. If you don't change the
other stuff, change these:<br>
<br>
<major><br>
<br>
Section 6.2.2, pg. 30-31:<br>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">Still not fixed. Statements from
Unified Proposal should be separated and indentation of first paragraph
should be deleted.<br>
</div>
<br>
Section 6.3.1, pg. 32:<br>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">"This idea involves tracking dorm
usage metrics and <b>charging</b> residents individually for their
portion of utilities, such as water, electricity, and heat."<br>
</div>
<br>
Section 6.4.2, pg. 34:<br>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">The first paragraph of this section
is a re-summary, not a position. Either scrap it or replace 6.4.1 with
it.<br>
</div>
<br>
Section 6.5.2, pg. 37:<br>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">"<b>Students</b> would appreciate the
increased clarity of the system, but a re fined declining balance
system should be examined within the context of larger changes."<br>
</div>
<br>
</major><br>
<minor><br>
<br>
Typo? (end quotation instead of start quotation - weird artifact of
LaTeX) in 5.1.2, on bottom of pg. 28 ("Administrative Processes")<br>
<br>
Section 2.1, pg. 4:<br>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">"Relaxation of <b>four</b>-year
housing commitment."<br>
</div>
<br>
Footnote 9, bottom of pg. 34, broken link (probably because of the word
"see")<br>
<br>
</minor><br>
<br>
<br>
-hwkns<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<div class="gmail_quote">On Wed, Oct 14, 2009 at 5:08 AM, Daniel
Hawkins <span dir="ltr"><<a moz-do-not-send="true"
href="mailto:hwkns@mit.edu">hwkns@mit.edu</a>></span> wrote:<br>
<blockquote class="gmail_quote"
style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;">Found
another typo. I'm also not too happy with the phrase, "reduction in
student life." It sounds like students will be dying, as opposed to
being angry.<br>
<br>
Section 4.1.2, pg 26:<br>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">Kitchens and lounges are <b>[removed
"an"]</b> important aspects <b>of</b> many dorms<b>,</b> and although
we could squeeze a few extra dorm rooms into these spaces, doing so
would destroy valuable sources of community.<br>
</div>
<br>
-hwkns
<div>
<div class="h5"><br>
<br>
<div class="gmail_quote">On Wed, Oct 14, 2009 at 3:49 AM, Daniel
Hawkins <span dir="ltr"><<a moz-do-not-send="true"
href="mailto:hwkns@mit.edu" target="_blank">hwkns@mit.edu</a>></span>
wrote:<br>
<blockquote class="gmail_quote"
style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;">
Only one actual typo that I've found so far:<br>
<br>
Section 1, pg 2<br>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">"These positions pieces were
collected by the <b>principal</b> officers, who formatted and edited
them for consistency along with writing the introduction and the
overarching issues in order to provide a more complete picture."<br>
</div>
<br>
And these are changes that I personally would have made, based on my
preference of how the words flow; they absolutely don't have to be made:<br>
<br>
Section 1, pg 1<br>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">"Throughout this process, members
of the MIT community not on the Task Force <b>were able to</b> suggest
or comment on recommendations using the Idea Bank."<br>
</div>
<br>
Section 1, pg 2<br>
<div style="margin-left: 40px;">"These feedback mechanisms
provided a wealth of <b>information on how undergraduates</b>
perceived the recommendations."<br>
</div>
<br>
-hwkns
<div>
<div></div>
<div><br>
<br>
<br>
<div class="gmail_quote">On Wed, Oct 14, 2009 at 3:02 AM, Mike
Bennie <span dir="ltr"><<a moz-do-not-send="true"
href="mailto:mbennie@mit.edu" target="_blank">mbennie@mit.edu</a>></span>
wrote:<br>
<blockquote class="gmail_quote"
style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;">
<div bgcolor="#ffffff" text="#000000">Hey everyone,<br>
<br>
The response report has been copy-edited twice more and now includes
two appendices with the data collected. The report is now available
here <a moz-do-not-send="true"
href="http://web.mit.edu/ua/docs/updated_taskforce_response.pdf"
target="_blank">http://web.mit.edu/ua/docs/updated_taskforce_response.pdf</a>.
If you have additional feedback or if you find a typo, please email me <b>immediately</b>.
I am going to CopyTech tomorrow morning (opens at 8am) to get these
reports printed for administrators.<br>
<br>
Thanks,<br>
Mike<br>
</div>
</blockquote>
</div>
<br>
</div>
</div>
</blockquote>
</div>
<br>
</div>
</div>
</blockquote>
</div>
<br>
</blockquote>
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