[4209] in Depressing_Thoughts
death
sethg@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (sethg@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Wed Dec 1 12:01:45 1993
A few months ago, I visited a deaf-blind friend of mine (who I really
ought to see more often, but that's another self-flagellation). In
the course of our conversation, she showed me a picture of a deaf
friend of hers, who had recently died from complications resulting
from AIDS. I recognized the picture; I didn't know that man well,
but we had met, and we had seen each other at DEAF Inc.'s office
and at a Gay Pride rally a few years back. It was unsettling for
me to realize that a human being that I had talked to is now dead.
Some weeks later, my mother called to tell me that my grandfather
is extremely ill. I made plans to visit him over the Veterans' Day
weekend.
In the course of a discussion on an e-mail list, a friend told me
about Sabrina Goodman's illness (see obits). Another shock of
recognition; I knew Sabrina from back when she lived at Fenway.
I went to NYC, saw Grandpa, saw various other relatives and friends...
there are things that I want to say about that visit, but a public
discuss list is not the place to vent those particular details.
A while after I returned, someone posted Sabrina's obit to discuss.
This morning, I got e-mail from my mother, who's been trying to
reach me. My grandfather's kidneys have finally stopped working,
and he doesn't want dialysis, so he only has a few days left.
It'll be painless, I'm told.
Prof. Liskov let me take the morning off. I went down to the Coop,
looking for something appropriate for a retired lawyer, and found
_So Sue Me!_, a collection of legal cartoons by S. Harris (yes,
the Harris of _What's So Funny About Science?_ and _Einstein
Simplified_.) I sent that to him by express mail, along with a
thank-you card that I should have sent three weeks ago.
I got some food at Au Bon Pain and wandered over to the SIPB office.
Along the way, I passed through Lobby 7, where the AIDS memorial
and stuff is going on. Just what I need.
For some reason, all these encounters with mortality have reinforced
my faith that there is *no* afterlife. If you get enraged at your
mother and say, "I hate you!", and five minutes later she dies in
a car crash, she's gone, period, and no shimmering translucent
Hollywood phantasm is going to patch up your relationship. So be
careful how you treat other people. IMHO, of course.
