[4064] in Depressing_Thoughts
lack of character
dcctdw@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (dcctdw@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Sun Oct 17 03:27:28 1993
there are some types of people in this world who i despise. those who are
sexist. those who are close-minded. those who do not deal with their
problems. those who are judgmental. those who are racist. those who are
homophobic. those who hack no sense of responsibility. those who are
immature. those who lack morals. those who lack ethics.
this is not some light-hearted sense of displeasure, as in "Gee, my
shoelaces are untied". these are the type of people who i believe should
be ripped out of the gene pool, and in general, removed from this plane of
existence.
it is extremely depressing when you realize that you have major failings in
all of the above. that your morals and ethics are weak and convenient.
that for all the grand posturing of words and attitudes, when push comes to
shove, i have risen no more than the average neandethal.
words fail me in trying to express the blackness i feel. i feel stripped
of honor; that what i have tried so hard to build has been swept away in
the space of a few hours by a storm that has been brewing for years.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
at least i have a few majorly enormous plusses on my side.
1. i may feel defeated, but i'm still fighting. and by damn, i'm
fighting hard.
2. i still have friends. and thanks to them, i feel a little
better.
in this particular trial, i have been defeated. now, to prepare myself for
the next trial...
