[405] in Depressing_Thoughts
Re: More male/female stuff... warning...
amgreene@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (amgreene@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Wed Oct 5 17:40:59 1988
You raise some good points, and I'll try to reply in order.
(1) Judaism is the single most important thing in my life. It gives
my life direction, purpose, and structure. It lifts me up when I'm
down and it celebrates with me when I'm up. In Alaska, it was the
one thing that kept me the most sane; every Friday night when I said
the Kiddush, I felt that the rest of the world still existed. It
provides me with a feeling of community and of family. Without it
my life would be meaningless.
I appreciate that others do not feel this way about their religion,
be it Judaism, Christianity, or any of the myriad other ways we
humans have found to worship a Deific Being.
But that is not the case with me, and I can't imagine giving up
Judaism for anyone or anything.
(2) There is really nothing wrong with number 2 except that I
can't risk getting involved with someone on the contingency that
she becomes a true convert to Judaism. While I would have no
difficulty loving (this isn't quite the right way to say it) a
true convert, and I would probably schep much nachas from her
learning about the rituals of the religion, I couldn't risk falling
in love with someone who then does *not* truly and deeply want to
convert. (Please bear in mind that converting for the sake of
being able to marry is not considered a true conversion; the
convert has to truly want to be Jewish for Judaism's sake and
should be officially discouraged three separate times by a Rabbi.)
(3) My problem with number three is that it's asking for a sticky
situation. "I'm sorry, but I can't go out with you anymore; but I
really like you very much and would love to remain friends with
you." It's better, I think, to know going in whether there is a
(sorry, an) obstacle; I'd rather be very close friends (which
oftentimes involves a different kind of love, one which is not
(at least to my mind) an interreligious problem) with someone I
may not love than trample on someone else's feelings.
- Rhu
