[297] in Depressing_Thoughts
Re: Yet more male/female courtship stuff, but at least it's more depressing than the weather.
aaron@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (aaron@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Thu Sep 1 03:46:30 1988
Oh boy! Wow, this is more depressing than the weather!
Ok, down to some serious depression.
With regards to your (Andrew's) "two lives becoming one" comment, I
recommend that you run! run! Do not give up your individuality. There
isa temptation, when melding with someone (and not playing canasta),
so be absorbed. Fight it. I recommend a short short story called
something like "the Compleat Consummators," although I don't think
that's quite right, nor remember who wrote it. Mary does, though.
I too, like many people, I suspect, have done the "letter at the last moment
" bit, both successfully and unsuccessfully. I recommend it. If you're
going to "be a man," if you'll pardon the expression, either do these
things face to face, or, better yet, do the cowardly thing and try to figure
it out without ever talking about it.
The concept that one "shouldn't date" someone with whom one is not in love, is
as you said, (sorry for the misplaced comma) flawed. Dating can, although
often isn't :-), be fun. Have fun.
Is sizing up MOSes like sizing up MOSFETs? (Ow, stop hitting me.) I may
be accused of being a trifle cynical, but I think everyone sizes up everyone
they meet in a number of ways, including as a potential SO, or even just
roll in the hay, even if he or she already has an SO (or roll in the hay).
I strongly suggest that you STOP WATCHING _Three's Company_, and also
that you don't listen to datuv.
Of course, once you've got this relationship started, as you said, it's likely
not to be terribly easy to manage. In fact, it's likely to be
incredibly difficult to manage. With a relationship, however, you at
least have something with which to work, even if all you manage
to do with it is mush it into an unrecognizable pulp.
As far as all this "fraud" stuff goes: You haven't put a lot of effort
into learning to be a good mountain climber, have you Andrew? Could this
be because you're not terribly interested in being a good mountain
climber? But you have put a lot of effort into learning Physics. Could
this be because you are interested in learning Physics? What does this
tell you about what you're really interested in?
As far as all of our previous discussion in coatrack, my impression of
what was "finally" "decided" was:
Don't wait for it to happen. It won't. If you maintain your personal
integrity and trust in external influences to bring to you someone
approrpiate, you are doomed to failure.
On the other hand,
Don't go looking for a relationship. That attracts women like flies. That
is, not terribly much (I've never noticed women being terribly attracted
to flies, except in that movie, of course.).
If you can find something which falls between these, go for it, and good
luck.
Swearing doesn't help, though, unless you want the type of person who is
attracted by that.
