[2567] in Depressing_Thoughts
ignoring the world
jcbourne@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (jcbourne@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Sat Dec 7 00:58:12 1991
i hate it when i need to ignore the rest of the world in order to get work
done. i hate listening to other people chat away when i know that i have too
much work to do in too little time. i hate feeling that i enjoy the work and
the thought involved -- but i don't want to do it right now. i hate forget-
ing that i have a life outside of tooling (i do, kinda) just in order to get
stuff done... i hate rushing work. and yet i always manage to punt just enough
so that i have to rush (and not think too hard about what i'm doing)...
on a different note, which is currently interfering with my ability to ignore
the world and get work done... i hate having to decide who i'd rather spend
time with over christmas -- my mother or george... i hate having the feeling
that i will be hurting my mom if i say that i want to be with george for
christmas.. i hate knowing that she probably won't understand... i hate
realizing that i am growing up and that we are growing apart...
and i hate being scared of the future!
