[160] in Depressing_Thoughts
Re: Just friends
datuv@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (datuv@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Fri Aug 5 16:32:05 1988
I have to agree with Carol. Sometimes you may feel a romantic attraction
towards a friends, but if it isn't mutual, then it just gets put on the back
burner, and shouldn't be a problem in a good friendship. I think the problem
comes in when someone likes someone romantically and hopes that by being
friends with them, the other person will be interested in them also. This
is faulty logic, because why would you want to go out with someone who you
wouldn't even want to be friends with. If you aren't interested in their
conversation, sense of humor, company, etc., just for its own sake, then if
there becomes no possibility of going out the friendship dissolves, and more
importantly if you end up going out with the person, after the initial
attraction and thrill of the chase are gone, what do you have left? Companion-
ship...
People who look to those of the appropriate sex as only quarry, and not as a
person who might be interesting to talk to, confide in, do things with, in a
platonic friendship probably have their definition of friendship a bit screwed
up... If I were to only hang out with guys that I was physically attracted to,
I wouldn't have any real guy friends. I mean what, when they are no longer
attractive to you, you dump them. That sounds pretty silly. Why spend all the
time and effort and openess on someone who I only want to jump in the hay with,
so to speak. Ick....
Probably a reason so many relationships break up is because the two people
haven't taken the time to get to know each other. All they've been thinking
about is how long will it be till he/she wants to go out with me, and worked
towards that end... I'm not suggesting that you only go out with your friends
from a long standing, but I'm also saying don't let that first initial
*lightning striking* attraction be the only reason that you go out with someone.
Anyway...
Laura
