[5183] in Central_America
Re: New quotes for Fri Nov 19
ckclark@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (ckclark@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Fri Nov 19 22:29:12 1993
You have written a compelling and moving response, Jessie. I am
relieved to see that you, unlike some feminists, are not polarized
around a subset of issues that are of lesser importance than those you
mentioned.
But what if I ask the question, ``what can I do as an individual to help
alleviate these societal problems?'' Not ``what can I do as a male?''
or ``what can I do as a heterosexual?'' or ``what I can do as a white
person?'' Just: what can I do? Forget for a moment that I am all those
things, though not only those things.
Or can't you?
That is precisely the problem with your attitude. I have done a lot of
volunteer work in life; many places, many things. You might ask how
much of that was spent at places like rape crisis centers or shelters
for battered women---places where the time I spend and the work I do
might, just might, tear its tiny rip in the tangled net of abuse. My
answer: not enough. Not (proportionally) as much as one might expect,
given the opportunities. The reason? The are difficulties caused by
the kinds of prejudice your attitude---an attitude that is hardly
rare---encourages. Even when it is clear that I am there to help, that
I, for piece of time, am a friend, there is fear, distrust, even hatred.
Understandable? Certainly. Pleasant? No, but no one promised it would
be. I'm not saying this happens all the time, because if it did, I
wouldn't have bothered at all.
I understand when my helping hand is spat on, especially when reflecting
on what the person I'm helping might have gone through. But there are
people in this world I can help who won't hate me for helping, and I
can't even help those groups as much as I want. Women are dying, yes,
and for reasons that shouldn't be, but you don't have a monopoly on
either death or oppression. You ask Seth, and, by extension, me, since
I the oh-so-critical characteristics of race and gender with him, to
make life less dangerous for you. Well I'm sorry: I, an omnipotent
oppressor by your apparent reckoning, don't have the power to do that,
and what little I can do meets with more resistance than I care for.
Oh, sure, I can do the usual things: chastise my friends for making
sexist comments, treat the women I know with respect, and anything else
that might be expected. Any more? Well, other people are dying, too.
I have put many words in your mouth in this message, and I apologize for
that, but nevertheless, I'll do it again: you might ask, ``Well, we
don't need your help anyway.'' Perhaps not. But can you afford to
believe that? Not ``you, a woman'' or ``you, a feminist'' but just you?
