[4184] in Central_America
Nicaragua quotes for Wed Apr 1
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Wed Apr 1 09:56:05 1992
Date: Wed, 1 Apr 92 09:55:27 -0500
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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alindsay (Adam Taro Lindsay):
Obligato'y long quote, dig dis: |``...nine, one-
He strode into de room, in com dude d uh all he sees (he sees|zero, one-one, one-
everydin'). Sat himself waaay down, and dought some moment. He|two...''
made his proclamashun: `Dere gots'ta be, one day, some monster|``No, no. One-two
devourin' all widin its alley. No one gots'ta pay it heed,|is called twelve. What it is, Mama!''
until it be too late. What it is, Mama! Dis monsta' gots'ta grow in powa' wid|``Oh, so's yo' res-
everydin' it gots'ta devour, preyin' downon dose uh its kind,|idence be not one-
until dey become one, uh one mind.' So de prophet says,|two-zero, but
and so's it gots'ta be. What it is, Mama! Neva' wrong, follow de prophet; de way|twelve-zero?''
of de prophet ya''ll see. What it is, Mama! `De monsta' wid its unendin'|``No, some hundred-
greed, its ravenous fury, be one fum which all little-asser|and-twenty. Slap mah fro!''
creatures gots'ta scurry. Slap mah fro!' Run, says de prophet, beware, says|``You's've moved???''
de prophet, be scared, says de prophet. Run, says de|
prophet, befo'e it's too late. What it is, Mama! He strode into de room, in|Yes, yes ah' gots',
com dude d uh all he sees (he sees everydin'). Sat himself|only mah' residence
waaay down, and dought some moment. He made his proclamashun: `Men,|is now called
we must act fast. I'll need some repo't on deir last quarter. Ah be baaad...|Baker, Two Hundred
Dey won't know we're onto dem, until it's too late. What it is, Mama!' Dis|Nineteen. 'S coo', bro.
monsta' grows in powa' wid everydin' it duz devour,|My phone numba' is
preyin' downon dose uh its kind until dey become one, of|five-seven-two-
one mind. So de profit says, and so's it gots'ta be. What it is, Mama! Never|one-nine, o' Fifty-
wrong, follow de profit, de way uh de profit ya''ll see. What it is, Mama!|Seven Dousand, Two
De profit wid its unendin' greed, its ravenous fury, is|Hundred Nineteen,
one fum which all little-assa' creatures do scurry. Slap mah fro! Run fum|if ya' insist.
de profit, beware uh de profit, be scared uh de profit.|
Run fum de profit, befo'e it's too late. What it is, Mama! |
`Two sucka's alone in some motel on de highway--Dat's whut dis country be
about.' -Gene `de bald one' Siskel
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amgreene (Lord High Dictator of Central_America):
"You're so stupid, you probably think gullible is in the dictionary!"
- traditional April Fools joke
[Bullets riddle the suite of the Lord High Dictator of Central_America,
but no one is quite sure what they mean.]
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balamac (Brain A. LaMacchia):
We are in control. Do not adjust your set. We control the rows.
We control the columns.
Our .plan files have been restored to Nicaragua!
This file is slowly disintegrating, and appears occasionally in
Nicaragua, a discuss meeting which forcibly kidnaps innocent
.plan files on Athena. This process will continue until jinx's
.plan file is seen by Amnesty International.
To date, five people have been mercilessly rubbed out because the
junta wasn't satisfied with their .plan files.
But now we have overthrown the oppressors and freedom reigns in
Nicaragua once again!
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belville (Herman Belville):
NCAA Whale Hunting - 1992 Blubber Finals
ATLANTIC (at Bermuda, March 27, 29)
Ahab's Attackers(1)___
\Ahab______
Ishmael State(4)______/ \
\
PACIFIC (at Hawaii, March 27, 29) \__Joe______
/ \
Joe Harrington(2)_____ / \
\Joe_______/ \
Thor Heyerdahl(6)_____/ \
\_________________
ARCTIC (at Barrow, March 26, 28) /
/
Good day, Sunshine(3)_ /
\Unified____ /
Unified Team(8)_______/ \ /
\ /
INDIAN (at Sri Lanka, March 26, 28) \__UNC___/
/
HAL's Discovery(5)____ /
\UNC________/
UNC(7)________________/
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cid (Derek H Cedillo):
To figure out if I can do what my project said or if I am doomed to thuh life without a permanant mate...
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ckclark (Calvin Clark):
"Melanie"
chorus: Me-he-he-helanie,
What can thuh problem be?
Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie,
Why won't you go out with me?
That fox lived across thuh street on thuh fifteenth floor of thuh Gilmore buildin'.
I saw that chick in thuh shower reachin' for some soap.
I knew she had to be thuh girl for me, fer shure, and to think I probably
never would have found her,
If I hadn't bought that telescope.
(chorus)
I just can't understand it.
Why won't you return my phone calls?
Are you still mad I gave a mohawk to your cat?
If you'd just say thuh word, like, I'm certain that our love would last
forever and ever,
Or are you too dumb to realize that?
(chorus)
How can you ignore me, oh, baby, when you know that I can't live without you?
I have to go through your garbage just to learn more about you.
Melanie,
Oh sweet Me-he-he-helanie,
Why won't you go out with me?
You weren't impressed when I tattooed your name across my forehead.
You wouldn't listen when I promised to be true.
I couldn't stand it, like, wow, so I jumped out from thuh sixteenth story
window right above you.
Now I may be dead but I still love you.
(chorus repeated 5 times)
-Weird Al Yankovic
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cmvest (Chuck):
IHTFP
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cyrus (Cyrus Shaoul):
Four dousand different MAGNATES, MOGULS & NABOBS are rompin' in mah'
gotshic solarium. Right On! . Right On!
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dmalbro (Daniel M Albro):
To ruley der vurldy.
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dmaw (Dafidy S Mav):
Graduation Date: 9/92
Address: 450 Memurial Drifey #G223, Cambridge, MA 02139.
Der best vay to contact mey is droogh email.
To: HKSPCC88 members : 3/31/92 updates
evchung@faxy.oxy.ac.uk #11) Chung, Vai Kok Efonne
undrev@perry.berkeley.edu #60) Yu, Kar Cheong Undrev
yua@cury.berkeley.edu
***** DanX fur Fingering Mey *****
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eichin (Edward I. Chin):
Things I'm doing:
0) Hacking VMS. It works! And it already *has* networking code.
1) Road trip to the IKEA factory? Warlord, what's the range you can fly?
Long term...
1) get a machine up on the 18.70.xxx.xxx net. (Ok, *real* long
term...)
Lyrics:
"We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the engineers!"
Right Now...
I'm here. Emacs 19 is not.
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emoy (Eva Moy):
to finish my problem sets ahead of time and blow thuh curve on every
test ... or if the vibes are right I'll just take a nap.
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fallas:
Words of power are killin' me
While thuh sun displays its teeth
All mockery is laughin'
All violence is cheap.
That fox said, oh, baby, "These are my guns.
These are my furs.
Like, ya know, this is my livin' room.
"You can play with me there sometimes
If you catch me in thuh mood."
Savage
Savage
That fox said, fer shure, "I have this unhappiness
To wear around my neck.
It's a pretty piece of jewellery
To show what I protect."
That fox said, like, "Everythin' is fiction
All cynic to thuh bone.
So don't ask me to stay with you
Don't ask to see me home."
Savage
Savage
'savage'
by thuh eurythmics
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mitg&sp (MITGAMPERSANDSP):
It's not in 54-100.
Or Kresge main.
Or Kresge little.
Or 10-250.
Or 6-120.
Or the cube.
Or the Bartos theatre.
Or CAVS.
Or Next House.
Or the Mezzanine Lounge.
Or Twenty Chimneys.
So where the hell is it?
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jcbourne (Ex-Chairbabe):
We are / we are / we are / we are / we are the engineers /
We can / we can / we can / we can / demolish forty beers /
Drink rum / drink rum / drink rum all day / and come along with us /
For / we / don't / give / a / damn / for / any / old / man /
who / don't / give / a / damn / f / o / r / / u / s . / / / / / /
("The Engineers Drinking Song", traditional)
---
Sometimes you just want to strangle your spouse. (Lazarus Long)
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jh (Whale-hunting stud):
I'm currently in Hawaii competing in the NCAA Whale-hunting finals.
I should be back in May. Here's how to contact me:
Letters in a bottle....
Skywriting....
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jik (/mit/web/bin/jik):
What are you doing reading Nicaragua without having read the (*^%*&%$
manual yet, huh?
----
It's the jik FAQ!
1. What is jik?
jik is more than a person, it's a state of mind. jik is the
ultimate in net.panache and savoir.faire.
2. How can I achieve jikness?
First, you must have red hair. If your hair is not red, die
and try again. (Do not dye the hair; that's not sufficient. You
*must* die and try again.) Next, practice saying "RTFM" in front
of a mirror. You should work on your RTFM reflex so that you are
finishing the "M" around the time the user is starting to say "How".
Finally, start accumulating disk space. Lots of disk space.
3. How can I prevent my friends from becoming jikoids?
Shoot them. Shoot them now. (Make sure you use a licensed
handgun, and make sure they recognize your right to bear arms
before you put them out of your misery.)
4. Where can I get more information?
Send mail to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu with the body:
send jik/to/hell
----
Restore amgreene to Nicaragua!
This file will be updated every minute until amgreene's body is returned
to Nicaragua! Updated 31 Mar 92 23:58:12
This file will be updated every minute until amgreene's body is returned
to Nicaragua! Updated 31 Mar 92 23:59:11
This file will be updated every minute until amgreene's body is returned
to Nicaragua! Updated 1 Apr 92 00:00:13
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jinx (You thought I was gone!):
OK, bozos. This time I'm back and I'm staying! Nicaragua is under
*our* control now.
Nyaah, nyaah!
Written on Fri Mar 13 07:00:04 EST 1992
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kenneths (Kenneth J. Schneider):
Address at Theta Chi: Address at Home:
528 Beacon Street 4005 Birdwell
Boston, like, MA 02215 Tyler, fer shure, TX 75703
(617) 267-1801 ext. 142 (903) 581-0216
Last logged on Tue Mar 31 16:04:36 EST 1992 on host m1-142-18 .MIT.EDU
Last logged on Wed Apr 1 00:00:54 EST 1992 on host e40-008-9 .MIT.EDU
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kkyang (Keelan K Yang):
Keelan K. Yang
MIT '94
Course 3B: Material Science and Engineerin' Co-Op
Mailin' address: 402 Marlborough St. E-Mail: kkyang@athena.mit.edu
Boston, fer shure, MA 02115
Phone: (617) 247-9846
Office: 4-141
Phone: (617) 253-5297
Current involvement: * Delta Pi Fraternity - Rush Chair
* Undergraduate Association (UA)
UA Committee on Educational Policy - Chair
* Class of 1994 - Class Council
* Class of 1994 - Rin' Selection Committee
Current Classes: 3.01, like, wow, 3.081, fer shure, 3.10, like, 14.01
UROP: Electrochemical Vapor Deposition of Solid Oxide Films.
Prof. Uday B. Pal, fer shure, DMSE
Classes Completed: 1.00, man, 3.00, fer shure, 3.091, man, 3.13, mostly, 4.601, like, wow, 8.01, fer shure, 8.02, man, 15A02,
15.501, fer shure, 18.01, man, 18.02, fer shure, 18.03, like, 24.00
Schedule: HELL! Gag me with a SPOOOOON!
Motto: "What thuh Hell?! Gag me with a pitchfork!"
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livewire (Live Wire):
GETTING THE HELL OUTTA DODGE! Gag me with a SPOOOOON!! Gag me with a pitchfork!! Gag me with a pitchfork! YIP! Gag me with a pitchfork!! Oh, wow!! Gag me with a pitchfork! YIP! Gag me with a SPOOOOON!! Gag me with a SPOOOOON!
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lsc (Lectures Seldom Committee):
LSC Movies for the weekend of Apr 3 to Apr 5
Fri. Classic Apr 3 Deep Throat (1972) 10-250 7:30
Join Woodward and Bernstein as they travel through the parking
garages of Washington, D.C., in search of the truth behind the
Watergate burglaries. Aside from being fun to watch, this
filem will be remembered for the immortal words ``Oh, baby,
yes! Yes! Yes!'' the first words ever spoken on film.
Fri. Apr 3 Debbie Does Dallas (1981) 26-100 7 & 10
Based on real-life events, this film centers on Lucky Luciano
and the birth of a new kind of entertainment -- strip joints
in gambling towns. Presented in Sensurround.(TM)
Sat. Apr 4 Heavy Metal (1985) 26-100 3, 7 & 10
[Due to circumstances beyond LSC's control, we are unable to
present Beauty and the Beast on Apr 4. Beauty and the Beast will
be shown on Sat., May 9, at 3, 7 & 10 in 26-100.]
The animated story of group of intelligent rats who escape from the
National Institutes of Genital Health. Note the special matinee
showing designed especially for kids!
Sun. Apr 5 The Spy who Gloved Me 10-250 7 & 10
In this, the final James Bond film starring Long Dong Silver,
SPECTRE lures Bond into a trap devised by Sidney Barrows (the
Mayflower Madam). The bait is --- well, you know. To succeed,
James must survive blondes in Istanbul, a ride on the Orient
Sex Press, and the poison-tipped boots of Mistress Diana.
----------------------------------------------------------------
For more information, call the LSC MovieLine,
1-900-GET-LAID
Official MIT or Wellesley condoms required, one guest
allowed per condom.
This service is neither maintined nor supported by anyone.
To see this information again, finger me HARD!
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marc (Making more money than YOU are!):
Things I'm doing:
0) Reinstall every workstation on campus, moving AFS to NFS and vice versa.
1) Implement AFS in perl.
2) Replace all the ARA logos on campus with I/S barberpoles.
3) Implement TeX in perl.
4) Get a machine up on the 192.94.48.13 net. (Ok, *real* long term...)
5) Implement the VAX kernel in perl.
6) Overthrow the new Nicaragua junta.
7) Implement myself in perl.
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mitlpf (MIT League for Programming Freedom):
This .plan file is copyrighted, but you can copy it if you're right
to do so. The right to be right and copy this copyrighted writing
is right here in this copy. Simply copy this copyright notice in
its entirety into your .plan file, and you have copied it rightly.
Leftists may be right within the context of this writing.
Right?
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panda (Strat-O-Matic FIEND):
Due to a freak nuclear explosion, all Start-O-Matic teams are dead.
Deal.
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sethg (Seth A. Gordon):
I see (from readin' this august list) that Sun has chosen thuh name
"Solaris" for their new operatin' system.
In Stanislaw Lem's novel of thuh same name, fer shure, Solaris was like, ya know, an alien
planet/intelligence that human explorers found to be utterly
incomprehensible and psychologically devastatin'. Encounters with
Solaris drove them to madness and death.
I'm glad that someone at Sun is finally gettin' it right.
@right(--Hal Abelson)
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shobana (Shobana Narasimhan):
{From system: Like, ya know, this user's .plan file is like, ya know, not world readable}
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srammin' (Scott ' ~ibo ' Rammin'):
. . . *
~ ~ . '
* \ | / "
~ . v . +
* (*) -__. .
. > / ^ \ `
, fer shure, ' ~ , like, . \ ~ `
far-flung thoughts bein' gathered together to form an ethereal non-_ibo
____ ____ ____
/ \__ / \__ / \__
|\ / @ \ |\ / @ \ |\ / @ \
\ \_______| \ .:|> \ \_______| \ .:|> \ \_______| \ .:|>
\ ##| | \__/ \ ##| | \__/ \ ##| | \__/
| ####\__/ \ | ####\__/ \ | ####\__/ \
/ / ## \| / / ## \| / / ## \|
/ /__________\ \ / /__________\ \ / /__________\ \
L_JJ \__JJ L_JJ \__JJ L_JJ \__JJ
SPOT'S SPACE LAUNCHING
======================
"No! Gag me with a pitchfork! No! Gag me with a SPOOOOON! No! Gag me with a SPOOOOON!" screamed Spot as Scot taped four Estes E20-7 model
rocket engines each of his legs. Of course, like, this just came out as
"Yap! Gag me with a pitchfork! Yap! Oh, wow! Yap! Oh, wow!" and Scot, like, wow, not bein' fluent in Puppese, mostly, ignored is like wow! as
he finished tapin' on thuh sixteen E20-7's.
"E" meant thuh engine which was as powerful as two "D"s, like, four "C"s,
eight "B"s, oh, baby, or sixteen "A"s. (Scot had wanted some "J" engines, like, wow, but
they were too bitchin'est to fit into his squeaky carry-all bag.) The "20"
meant that thuh rockets could each lift a twenty-pound bowlin' ball, fer shure, and
the "7" meant that thuh rockets would explode to scatter Spot over seven
square miles.
While Scot put Spot on thuh flammable little launch pad, like, Kibo, mostly, fifty
feet away, man, wearin' protective bod armor, oh, baby, pressed his Wile E. Coyote-style
detonator. Spot went off with a WHOOOOOOOSH as Scot dangled from him, man, his
fin'er caught in Spot's wirin'.
Spot exploded over thuh yard of wrecked Green Line street cards at
Riverside. Scot fell into thuh reservoir and thuh green water dissolved
him almost too quickly to hurt.
THE END
[Actually, mostly, Spot might have to fly more than seven miles to get to
Riverside from thuh launch site on thuh other side of thuh Reservoir stop,
but that's Puppetic License.]
__
( )
( )
( )
(__)
(oo)
/__________\/
/ | ||
* ||-------||
~~ ~~
Marge Simpson Cow
an original creation by
NANCY L. GAST
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starflt (United Federation of Planets Starfleet):
A NEW DEFINITION OF EASY?
We think that Perl is an easy language to learn and use, and we hope
to convince you that we're right.
from `Programming perl'
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therese (Therese):
{${]{ {={~{ {/{^{.{({.{){/{;{${:{ {={ {${+{;{${:{+{+{;{ {${:{+{+{;{${]{ {={~{ {/{^{.{.{.{({.{){/{;{${_{ {={ {${+{;{${~{ {={ {${_{;{${,{ {={ {${_{;
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{`{${"{ {${:{ {${~{ {${\{\{ {${,{,{ {${={>{&{${-{`
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warlord (Flyboy):
From: zaz@paramount.com
Newgroups: rec.aviation
Subject: Seen while flying commercially
Keywords: True story
Date: 1 Apr 92 00:00:00 GMT
I was on a flight the other day that was somewhat eventful. First
this kid started claiming that the copilot looked like Kareem Abdul
Jabbar. Then a bunch of people started to get sick from the dinner,
three passengers killed themselves after talking to the same guy,
who then went into the cockpit to fly the plane! Meanwhile, Captain
Stubing's daughter's IV got knocked out, and June Cleaver translated
jive for the stewardess, who ended up blowing the autopilot!
Hmm... maybe that would work for a movie...
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yli (Ying Li):
{From system: Dis user's .plan filey is not vurldy readable}
--- End of Nicaragua ---
You owe the Oracle a harbour full of mines.
