[4004] in Central_America
New quotes for Wed Jan 15
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Wed Jan 15 01:29:23 1992
Date: Wed, 15 Jan 92 01:28:28 EST
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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jtidwell (Jenifer P. Tidwell):
Nintendo is coming out with a new game: Super Mario Cuomo Bros.
When you press on the control pad, he doesn't run.
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rjbarbal (Richard J. Barbalace):
A Memorable Fancy
As I was walking among the fires of hell, delighted with the enjoyments
of Genius; which to Angels look like torment and insanity. I collected some
of their Proverbs: thinking that as the sayings used in a nation, mark its
character, so the Proverbs of Hell, shew the nature of Infernal wisdom better
than any description of buildings or garments.
When I came home; on the abyss of the five senses, where a flat sided
steep frowns over the present world. I saw a mighty Devil folded in black
clouds, hovering on the sides of the rock, with corroding fires he wrote the
following sentence now perceived by the minds of men, & read by them on earth.
How do you know but ev'ry Bird that cuts the airy way,
Is an immense world of delight, clos'd by your senses five?
Proverbs of Hell
In seed time learn, in harvest teach, in winter enjoy.
Drive your cart and your plow over the bones of the dead.
The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
Prudence is a rich ugly old maid courted by Incapacity.
He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence.
The cut worm forgives the plow.
Dip him in the river who loves water.
A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.
He whose face gives no light, shall never become a star.
Eternity is in love with the productions of time.
The busy bee has no time for sorrow.
The hours of folly are measur'd by the clock, but of wisdom:
no clock can measure.
All wholsom food is caught without a net or a trap.
Bring out number weight & measure in a year of dearth.
No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.
A dead body revenges not injuries.
The most sublime act is to set another before you.
If the fool would persist in his folly he would become wise.
Folly is the cloke of knavery.
Shame is Pride's clock.
Prisons are built with stones of Law, Brothels with bricks of Religion.
The pride of the peacock is the glory of God.
The lust of the goat is the bounty of God.
The wrath of the lion is the wisdom of God.
The nakedness of woman is the work of God.
Excess of sorrow laughs. Excess of joy weeps.
The roaring of lions, the howling of wolves, the raging of the stormy sea,
and the destructive sword are portions of eternity too great for
the eye of man.
The fox condemns the trap, not himself.
Joys impregnate. Sorrows bring forth.
Let man wear the fell of the lion; woman the fleece of the sheep.
The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship.
The selfish smiling fool & the sullen frowning fool shall both be
thought wise, that they may be a rod.
What is now proved was once only imagin'd.
The rat, the mouse, the fox, the rabbit, watch the roots;
the lion, the tyger, the horse, the elephant, watch the fruits.
The cistern contains: the fountain overflows.
One thought fills immensity.
Always be ready to speak your mind, and a base man will avoid you.
Every thing possible to be believ'd is an image of truth.
The eagle never lost so much time as when he submitted to learn of the crow.
The fox provides for himself, but God provides for the lion.
Think in the morning, Act in the noon, Eat in the evening, Sleep in the night.
He who has suffer'd you to impose on him knows you.
As the plow follows words, so God rewards prayers.
The tygers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.
Expect poison from the standing water.
You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.
Listen to the fools reproach! it is a kingly title!
The eyes of fire, the nostrils of air, the mouth of water, the beard of earth.
The weak in courage is strong in cunning.
The apple tree never asks the beech how he shall grow,
nor the lion, the horse, how he shall take his prey.
The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.
If others had not been foolish, we should be so.
The soul of sweet delight, can never be defil'd.
When thou seest an Eagle, thou seest a portion of Genius; lift up thy head!
As the caterpillar chooses the fairest leaves to lay her eggs on,
so the priest lays his curse on the fairest joys.
To create a little flower is the labour of ages.
Damn braces: Bless relaxes.
The best wine is the oldest; the best water the newest.
Prayers plow not! Praises reap not!
Joys laugh not! Sorrows weep not!
The head Sublime, the heart Pathos, the genitals Beauty,
the hands & feet Proportion.
As the air to a bird or the sea to a fish, so is contempt to the contemptible.
The crow wish'd every thing was black, the owl that every thing was white.
Exuberance is Beauty.
If the lion was advise'd by the fox, he would be cunning.
Improvement makes straight roads, but the crooked roads without improvement,
are roads of Genius.
Sooner murder an infant in its cradle than nurse unacted desires.
Where man is not nature is barren.
Truth can never be told so as to be understood, and not be believ'd.
Enough! or Too much.
_The Marriage of Heaven & Hell_
William Blake
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shmuel (Samuel R. Peretz):
To design the ultimate Neural Network.
\ /
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| 0 0 |
| V |
| === |
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Address:
Office:
NE43-770 (Tech Square 7AI)
(25)3-4088
Home:
30 Adrian Street
Somerville, MA 02143
(617) 776-3837
Schedule:
TUES WED THUR FRI
6.001 lab TA [(25)3-7976]: 10-11 6.013L 6.013R 6.013L 6.013R
Wednesday 5pm - 8pm 11-12 6.002L 6.002R 6.002L 6.002R
Thursday 7pm - midnight 12-1 6.004R 6.004R
1-2 6.013T 6.002Lab
6.002 lab [(25)3-4619]: 2-3 6.004L 6.002T 6.004L
Wednesday 1pm - 5pm 3-4
4-5 6.001mtg
5-7 6.001TA
7-8 6.001TA 6.001TA
8-12 6.001TA
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
--R.F.K.
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starflt (Derrick Kong):
THERE'S SAFETY IN NUMBERS
In Chaosium's Ringworld Companion, an alien weapon called the "NAX
gun" can be traverse-fired across an area, dividing its damage among all
targets. Unfortunately, the rule is worded so that any group of 11 or
more targets is invulnerable to harm.
from Murphy's Rules
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teg (Jay Bushman):
##############################################################################
# #
# "The search for perfection is all very well, but to look for heaven is to #
# live here in hell." -Sting, _Consider Me Gone_ #
# #
# "If this is such a great party, where are the plates of dead teckla?" #
# -Steven Brust, _Jhereg_ #
# #
# "Have we been here before, or are we yet to come?" #
# -Tom Baker, _Doctor Who_ #
# #
# "Fate favors fools, small children, and ships names _Enterprise_." #
# -Jonathan Frakes, _STTNG_ #
##############################################################################
# # #
# May the road that you walk be enchanting and long. # Jenise Dianna #
# May your voice as you travel be lifted in song. # Bushman #
# May you find out whatever you're seeking may be. # "I rhyme, therefore #
# And may all your meanderings bring you to me. # iamb." #
# # #
##############################################################################
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therese (Therese):
Why are these women here dancing on their own?
Why is there this sadness in their eyes?
Why are the soldiers here
Their faces fixed like stone?
I can't see what it is that they despise
They're dancing with the missing
They're dancing with the dead
They dance with the invisible ones
Their anguish is unsaid
They're dancing with their fathers
They're dancing with their sons
They're dancing with their husbands
They dance alone. They dance alone.
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warlord (Derek Atkins):
Date: Sat, 11 Jan 92 6:30:4 EST
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: JBOLOGNA@bentley.bitnet
Subject: Basic rules for driving in Boston
Keywords: smirk
Basic rules for driving in Boston
Boston is often acclaimed as the most exciting city in America in
which to drive. Who would argue? Herewith, for newcomers and visitors,
are a few basic rules of the road for driving in these parts:
- To obtain a general idea of how to drive in Boston, go to a
Celtics game and carefully watch the fast break. Then get behind the
wheel of your car and practice it.
- Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and
left before proceeding.
- When in doubt, accelerate.
- Very generally speaking, the intransigence of the Boston driver
is directly proportional to the expense of his American-made car, and
inversely proportional to the expense of his foreign-made car. But in
applying this formula, bear in mind that they are all more or less
intransigent.
- In the long run, parking your car in a lot is always cheaper than
parking it at a meter.
- Drivers whose cars sport "I Brake For Animals" bumper stickers
may brake for animals, but they may not brake for you. Watch it.
- Never drive behind a person whose head doesn't reach the top of
the steering wheel.
- Teenage drivers believe they are immortal. Don't yield to the
temptation to teach them otherwise.
- Taxicabs should always have the right of way, unless you are bent
on suicide.
- Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under
the wheels of your car.
- The first parking space you see will be the last parking space
you see. Grab it.
- Learn to swerve abruptly. Boston is the home of slalom driving,
thanks to the Registry of Motor Vehicles, which puts potholes in key
locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
- Steer clear of people with antinuclear bumper stickers pasted on
their cars. They are interested in preserving mankind, which is
admirable. But they are not necessarily interested in preserving you,
or themselves, for that matter. They have more important things to
think about.
- Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work.
- Double-park in the North End of Boston, unless triple-parking is
available.
- Always look both ways when running a red light.
- While it is possible to fit a 15-foot car into a 15-foot parking
space, it is seldom possible to fit a 16-foot car into a 15-foot
parking space. Sad but true.
- There is no such thing as a short cut during rush-hour traffic in
Boston.
- It is traditional in Boston to honk your horn at cars that don't
move the instant the light changes.
- Never put your faith in signs that purport to provide directions.
They are put there to confuse people who don't know their way around
the city.
- Use extreme caution when pulling into breakdown lanes. Breakdown
lanes are not for breaking down, but for speeding, especially during
rush hour.
- Never use directional signals, since they only confound and
distract other Boston drivers, who are not used to them.
- Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals, Boston drivers,
unused to such courtesies, will think you are waving them on to pass
you.
- The yellow light is not, as commonly supposed outside the Boston
area, a signal to slow down. It is a warning to speed up and get
through the intersection before the light turns red.
- Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
- In making a left turn from the right lane, employ the element of
surprise. That is, do it as suddenly as possible, so as to stun other
drivers.
- Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel
guilty.
- Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to insure
inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible.
- Remember that the goal of every Boston driver is to get there
first by whatever means necessary.
- Above all, keep moving.
And good luck. You'll need it.
--
Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected.
--- End of Central America ---
