[3938] in Central_America
New quotes for Thu Dec 19
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Thu Dec 19 01:30:27 1991
Date: Thu, 19 Dec 91 01:29:21 EST
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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ccount (Craig A Counterman):
[slight corrections made 12/18]
Deteriorata
You are a fluke of the universe
you have no right to be here
Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
And heed well their advice -- even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss -- and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right,
But that three do.
Wherever possible, put people on `HOLD'.
Be comforted, that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
You are a fluke of the universe
you have no right to be here
and whether you can hear it or not,
the universe is laughing behind your back
Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you.
That lemon on your left, for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore -- it will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan.
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.
For a good time call 606-4311, ask for Ken.
Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting
enough cheese.
And reflect that whatever fortunes may be your lot,
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.
(chorus)
Therefore, make peace with your god, whatever you conceive him to be
Hairy Thunderer, or Cosmic Muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
The world continues to deteriorate.
Give up.
(chorus)
National Lampoon
Norman Rose
composed and aranged by Christopher Guest
voices: Melissa Manchester
Bass: John "cooker" LoPresti
Drums: Jim Payne
Keyboard: Melissa Manchester
Guitar: Christopher Guest
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cfields (Craig Fields):
Article: 2540 of rec.humor.funny
Path: bloom-picayune.mit.edu!mintaka!think.com!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!swrinde!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!lll-winken!looking!funny-request
From: rennie@cs.albany.edu (William A Rennie)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: La Boite Bleue
Keywords: smirk, computer
Message-ID: <S298.33b6@looking.on.ca>
Date: 12 Jun 91 23:30:31 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Department, SUNY at Albany, Albany, NY 12222
Lines: 73
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca
La Boite Bleue
translated from the memoirs of
Jean Turing-VonNeuman
a minor 19th century post-impressionist programer
I will never forget that Spring, that day. Paris had an air
of revolution. The week before an exhibition of Seraut's
listings had caused a sensation. In his unrelenting quest for
simplicity he had reduced all of programming to three machine
instructions. The resulting 6,000 line bubble sort had shocked
the critics.
My own recent efforts had been received poorly. I had cut
and slashed through my programs, juxtaposing blocks of code in a
way that exposed the underlying intensity of the algorithm
without regard to convention or syntax.
"But it doesn't compile.", they complained.
As if programming was about adhering to their primitive
language definitions. As if it was my duty to live within the
limits of their antiquated and ordinary compilers.
So it was that I came that day to La Boite Bleue, seeking
solace and companionship.
La Boite Bleue was where we gathered in those days. The wine
there was cheap, the tables were large and they kept a complete
set of language manuals behind the bar.
As I entered I heard Henri's measured accents above the din.
"...that complexity is not the salient characteristic of
exemplary style."
Toulouse-Lautrec was seated at a table spread with greenbar.
Manet, redfaced, loomed over him.
"Damm your recursion, Henri. Iteration, however complex,
is always more efficient."
Manet stormed away from the table in the direction of the
bar. He always seemed angry at that time. Partly because his
refusal to write in anything but FORTRAN isolated him from the
rest of the Avant-Guarde, partly because people kept confusing
him with Monet.
Henri motioned to me to join him at the table.
"Have you heard from Vincent recently?"
We were all concerned about Van Gogh. Only a few days
before he had completed an order n sorting routine that required
no additional memory. Unfortunately, because he had written it in
C and refused, on principle, to comment his code, no one had
understood a line of it. He had not taken it well.
"No. Why?", I replied.
"He and Gaugin had a violent argument last night over
whether a side effect should be considered output and he hasn't
been seen since. I fear he may have done something ... rash."
We were suddenly interrupted by the waitress's terrified
scream. I turned in time to see something fall from the open
envelope she held in her hand. Stooping to retrieve it, I was
seized by a wave of revulsion as I recognized that the object in
my hand, bestially torn from its accustomed place, was the mouse
from Van Gogh's workstation. The waitress, who had fainted, lay
in an unnoticed heap beside me.
By the evening, the incident had become the talk of Paris.
--
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
If you mail to original@looking.on.ca, it makes sure that your joke is tagged
as your original work, and thus eligible for the RHF comedy awards. Always
attribute the source of a joke, whether it's you, or somebody else.
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cyrus (Cyrus Shaoul):
Now, I think it would be GOOD to buy FIVE or SIX STUDEBAKERS
and CRUISE for ARTIFICIAL FLAVORING!!
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mosquito (Kevin M Iga):
Note that it is easier in general to catch me at APO (W20-415), x3-3788
I've got voicemail at home (x5-6288) now.
Or leave a message for me at EC (my dorm) desk, x3-2781
Or leave me email.
December/IAP stuff:
--------------
APO Regionals 12/27-1/1 in Cherry Hill, NJ
Teaching Klingon over IAP
Taking 8.237 over IAP
Member of: APO, ESP, G&S, HANDS, UCF, TCA, Assassin's, Concert Choir,
and prospective of SIPB
In general, running around in circles.
EECS ECF (x3-2737) periodically
Working on calmsg for ECF
Doing Phase II and Thesis
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starflt (Derrick Kong):
SPITBALLS AREN'T COVERED...
All guns do the same amount of damage in FGU's Merc...thus a BB is
as effective as a .45 slug....
from Murphy's Rules
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therese (Therese):
I sit, by myself, among friends
reaching out to touch those beyond my feeble reach
spending time caring for people...
whom I may never meet
Sharing a myriad of emotions...
As ephemeral as those I share them with
Hearing sighs and laughter with no voices...
feeling warmth in hugs that have no arms...
seeing smiles on imaginary faces
distance shrinks, and for a brief moment...
we are one as friends...
more than friends...
family..
- Brent Halverson (Just Hal)
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warlord (Derek Atkins):
From: amy@circus.Camex.COM (Amy Lindsay)
Newsgroups: rec.aviation
Subject: How the Other Half Lives...
Date: 17 Dec 91 00:09:50 GMT
Organization: Camex Inc., Boston MA
Well, this past weekend was not a great weekend for flying. Saturday, I
called up the weather and Beverly was reporting visibilities of 1/8 of a
mile in light rain and fog, indefinite ceilings of 200 feet. It was,
however, the last chance I had to visit the flight school before the
holidays, so I pre-flighted the "stealth Corolla," and off I went.
It being "that time of the year," I had made my (now) traditional airplane
cookies for the flight school. (This has become a yearly experiment to see
how long it takes our flight school to go through several dozen airplane
shaped sugar cookies.) And it never hurts to feed the mechanics, either.
This year, I figured I'd make a few extra and bring them to the BVY tower
crew, because I have caused them enough trouble in the past year (just call
me "radio-bane.") Needless to say, due to the weather, nothing was moving
at the airport. "They must be bored," said Ann, who works for the flight
school, so I called up the Tower and asked if they were busy (ha!) and if
they could talk to me for a few moments.
Well, I've never been in a tower before. The first thing I did was get
lost in the tower itself. (It bodes well for my ability to navigate on
cross-countries, doesn't it?) You see, there are four floors, each with
two doors, and ALL of them were locked. Finally, one of the controllers
popped his head out of one of the top doors and saying "You DOWN there?"
Stupid student pilot tricks.
There are six people who work at BVY tower, I met 4 of them (two were on
break.) I got to hear about the deer herd (we now have 14 deer wandering
the airport grounds, I asked if they had transponders...) and the foxes (I
met 2 of the 4 foxes during my solo when they crossed the taxiway as I was
bound for the active after dropping my instructor off. The tower people
have been watching the fox family grow up.)
There wasn't much aviation/controller stuff they could show me at the time,
but I did get to hear which landmarks they use to determine visibility.
For instance, the windsock is exactly 1/8 of a mile from the Tower, and we
could barely see it, ergo, the visibility was less than 1/8 mile. The end
of runway 9 ("my" solo runway!) is 3/4 mile. The Prudential tower,
downtown, is 15 miles, and if one can see it very clearly, visibility is
"greater than 15." Science strikes back.
Beverly is not "a radar facility" which means (for those of you, like me,
who didn't know this) that they have one radar screen and the info on it
comes from somewhere else although BVY is in the center. Most of the
equipment they have are radios and some weather station stuff (wind
direction and speed, and a computer to send this info to all the other
local Towers.) The supervisor said that the one piece of equipment they
use the most is the binoculars (and the coffee-maker.)
All in all, even though I didn't get to see much (they apologized for not
even having an IFR clearance to process) it was a Very Good Thing to visit
the Tower on a slow day. (They liked the cookies.) I think I'll have an
easier time talking to them after having actually met them. I guess I fell
into the trap of thinking of them as "Omnipotent Controllers Who See All
and Know the Sins of All Pilots."
I will, however, have to go back for the traditional "Student Pilot Talks
to the Controllers To See What They Do" visit. I'm looking forward to it.
(By the way, taking cookies to the Tower was considered a Nice Thing. They
like it when you say "thank you" in ways like that, although, I suppose,
even a nice Christmas card would be appreciated if you don't bake.)
--amy
Happy Holidays, (or I hope they WERE for those of you who have already
had them.)
A.G.Lindsay * Cloud Rental: Reasonable Rates * amy@camex.com
Typography & Design Department ~ Camex, Inc. ~ Boston, MA (617-426-7550 x575)
"Minimums... Air traffic controller euphemism for dense, impenetrable fog."
--- End of Central America ---
