[3937] in Central_America
New quotes for Wed Dec 18
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Wed Dec 18 01:31:09 1991
Date: Wed, 18 Dec 91 01:30:13 EST
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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amberle (Amberle S Ferrian):
"You must first understand...that preservation of the land and all that
lives and grows upon it, plant and animal alike, is a moral responsibility...
[Everyone] is expected to spend a portion of his life giving back to the land
something of what he has taken out of it...to devote a part of his life to
working with the land--to repairing damage it may have suffered through misuse
or neglect, to care for its animals and other wildlife, to care for its trees
and smaller plants where the need to do so is found."
--Amberle Elessedil
in Terry Brooks'
The Elfstones of Shannara
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ccount (Craig A Counterman):
Deteriorata
You are a fluke of the universe
you have no right to be here
Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
And heed well their advice -- even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss -- and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right,
But that three do.
Wherever possible, put people on `HOLD'.
Be comforted, that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
You are a fluke of the universe
you have no right to be here
and whether you can hear it or not,
the universe is laughing behind your back
Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you.
That lemon on your left, for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore -- it will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan.
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.
For a good time call 606-4311, ask for Ken.
Take heart that your dog is finally getting enough cheese.
And reflect that no matter what misfortune may be your lot,
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.
(chorus)
Therefore, make peace with your god, whatever you conceive him to be
Hairy Thunderer, or Cosmic Muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
The world continues to deteriorate.
Give up.
(chorus)
National Lampoon
Norman Rose
composed and aranged by Christopher Guest
voices: Melissa Manchester
Bass: John "cooker" LoPresti
Drums: Jim Payne
Keyboard: Melissa Manchester
Guitar: Christopher Guest
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cfields (Craig Fields):
Article: 2125 of rec.humor.funny
Path: bloom-picayune.mit.edu!snorkelwacker.mit.edu!mit-eddie!wuarchive!sdd.hp.co
m!decwrl!looking!watmath!maytag!oddjob!watserv1!looking!funny-request
Message-id: <S20e.3769@looking.on.ca>
Date: Thu, 24 Jan 91 19:30:8 EST
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: bahn_pr%ncsd.dnet@gte.com
Subject: farmers with suns
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca
Keywords: computer, smirk
{ hi tad, the attribution is the headers. WHo his boss is I dont know }
From: BUNNY::"@RELAY.PRIME.COM:MAMIDON@FEDS4.PRIME.COM" 13-NOV-1990 11:01:42.6
7
Hi elboids! I'm back! I'll be preparing a trip report soon, but first
I thot I'd let y'all see this tid-bit I got from my boss:
____________________________________________________________________________
___ _____ ___
/ \ | | | | | | | | | / \
| | | |\ | |\ | | | | |
\___ | | | \ | | \ | |___ | | \___
\ | | | \ | | \ | | \ / \
| | | | \| | \| | \ /\ / |
\___/ \____/ | | | | |____ \/ \/ \___/
____________________________________________________________________________
November 8, 1990
YOU CAN'T FOOL 'EM DOWN ON THE FARM!
Real Americans talk About Why They Chose the Sun
SPARCstation 2000 (tm)
"Wow - with a workstation that powerful, I could get twice as
much milking done."
- Mrs. Elaine Noose, Scumwater, Oklahoma
"Out here on the farm, you really learn to appreciate the value
of good graphics resolution."
- Ted Lumplin, Brat's Head, Nebraska
"After we lost most of our cattle stock to pellegra, our barn
burned down. After that, Joe got himself caught in the thresher
and lost most of his body hair. Then the banks foreclosed. It
sure was a comfort to know that we had 28 MIPs of power to see us
through hard times."
- Darrell LaQuench, Pine Agony, Maine
"I believe that Virtual Quilting, using high-speed networking
services, will be the wave of the future."
- Mrs. Jane Dobrynin, Fleughh, Utah
"Last week we had a fella from Digital come out and look at the
soybean crop. After 20 minutes, Ma chased him off and threw his
keyboard out the window. We`re from old Norwegian stock, and we
know a thing or two about bus controllers."
- Buck Flange, Arkansas, Texas
Why has the SPARCstation 2000 caught the imagination of the Amer-
ican working man and working woman like no other computer in its
class? Maybe it's the extra features, like the padded Corinthean
leather screen, or the safety air bag that inflates when the
typing buffer gets too full. Maybe it's the tradition of honest
service and free doughnuts. Then again, maybe not.
Sun Microsystems. A Step Ahead of Your Cows.
--
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes. You think I have
time to hand-correct everybody's postings?
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christ (Shih-Hung Li):
What plan? Begging for someone to write it for me, maybe!!
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cyrus (Cyrus Shaoul):
FOOLED you! Absorb EGO SHATTERING impulse rays, polyester poltroon!!
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echalom (I Hope not):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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eichin (Mark W. Eichin):
Save the Wheatfields. Recycle Toast.
"Giving money and power to the Government is like giving
whiskey and car keys to teenage boys." P. J. O'Rourke, _Parliament of Whores_
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jsc (Jin S Choi):
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jtkohl (John T Kohl):
"Bad cop! No more donuts!"
--a quote from some protest, seen on the net
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leira (Rev. Linda L. Julien):
To do that which I must do, and can do in no other way.
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msbowers (Michael S Bowers):
to get a degree
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philo (like...beyond athena?):
Cyrano:
Et que faudrait-il faire?
Chercher un protecteur puissant, prendre un patron,
Et comme un lierre obscur qui circonvient le tronc
Et s'en fait un tuteur en lui lechant l'ecorce,
Grimper par ruse au lieu de s'elever par force?
Non, merci. Dedier Comme tous ils le font,
Des vers aux financiers? se changer en bouffon
Dans l'espoir vil de voir aux levres d'un ministre,
Naitre un sourire, enfin, qui ne soit pas sinistre?
Non, merci. Dejeuner, chaque jour, d'un crapaud?
Avoir un ventre use pas la marche? une peau
Qui plus vite , a l'endroit des genoux, devient sale?
Executer des tours de souplesse dorsale?...
Non, merci. D'une main flatter la chevre au cou
Cependant que, de l'autre, on arrose le chou,
Et donneur de sene par desir de rhubarbe,
Avoir son encensoir, toujours, dans quelque barbe?
Non, merci! Se pousser de giron en giron,
Devenir un petit grand homme sans rond,
Et naviguer, avec des madrigaux pour rames,
Et dans ses voiles des soupirs de vielles dames?
Non, merci! Chez le bon editeur de Sercy
Faire editer ses vers payants? Non, merci!
S'aller faire nommer pape par les conciles
Que dans des cabarets tiennent des imbeciles?
Non, merci! Travailler a se construire un nom
Sur un sonnet, au lieu d'en faire d'autre? Non,
Merci! Ne decouvrir du talent qu'aux mazettes?
Etre terrorise par de vagues gazettes,
Et se dire sans cesse: "Oh, pourvu que je sois
Dans les petits papiers du Mercure Francois?"...
Non, merci! Calculer, avoir peur, etre bleme,
Aimer mieux faire une visite qu'un poeme,
Rediger des placets, se faire presenter?
Non, merci! non, merci! non, merci! Mais... chanter.
rever, rire, passer, etre seul, etre libre,
Avoir l'oeuil qui regarde bien, la voix qui vibre,
Mettre, quand il vous plait, son feutre de travers,
Pour un oui, pour un non, se battre- ou faire un vers!
Travailler sans souci de gloire ou de fortune,
A tel voyage, auquel on pense, dans la lune!
N'ecrire jamais rien que de soi ne sortit,
Et modeste d'ailleurs, se dire: mon petit,
Sois satisfait des fleurs, des fruits, meme des feuilles,
Si c'est dans ton jardin a toi que tu cueilles!
Puis, s'il advient d'un peu triompher, par hasard,
Ne pas etre oblige d'en rien rendre a Cesrar,
Vis a vis de soi-meme en garder le merite,
Bref, dedaignant d'etre lierre parasite,
Lors meme qu'on n'est pas le chene ou le tilleul,
Ne pas monter bien haut, peut etre mais tout seul!
[...]
Le bret:
Fais tout haut l'orgueilleux et l'amer, mais, tout bas,
Dis-moi tout simplement qu'elle ne t'aime pas!
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starflt (Derrick Kong):
NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT
In Super Squadron (Adventure Simulations), when rolling on the "Job
Positions" table, your superhero character may end up as "God."
from Murphy's Rules
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therese (Therese):
With one breath, with one flow
You will know
Synchronicity
-- The Police
Synchronicity
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warlord (Derek Atkins):
From: kerry@ingres.com (Kerry Kurasaki)
Newsgroups: rec.aviation
Subject: How to tell when you're NOT in trouble when given a phone # to call
Date: 17 Dec 91 06:38:53 GMT
Reply-To: kerry@Ingres.COM (Kerry Kurasaki)
Organization: Ask Computer Systems Inc., Ingres Division, Alameda CA 94501
Q. How do you know if you're NOT in trouble with the FAA when given
a telephone number to call when you land?
A. They ask you to call collect!
As it turns out, Brian Horn and I were flying 6755P (his Commanche 180)
(Jordan's too) coming out of Fullerton over LAX enroute to Santa Barbara.
I was under the hood with Brian as safety pilot, heading about 270.
ATC is pretty busy, but then I hear, "55P turn right 070", but this
transmissions is weaker, and the voice, still male, is higher pitched.
Aware of the NOTAM for illegal transmissions in the LA basin, I ignore
the instruction (mainly since it would direct me into LAX landing
traffic). The frequency is busy for the next 30 seconds, and we get
a handoff. We're now directly over LAX at about 5000', and I forward
the information to the controller. We get a phone number to call,
collect, when we reach SBA. As the controller finds some free time,
he queries us for specifics.
On the ground at SBA, I try calling LAX approach... busy several times.
Finally, I get through, and of course he accepts the charges, and is
quite appreciative about the information, which he is forwarding to
the FBI. Yes, I don't like illegal ATC instructions any more than
the next pilot. This is serious stuff.
BTW, the cafe at SBA, on the beach, about 10 mins walk from Mercury
Aviation, is a bit expensive, but very good. About $8-$10 for lunch
plus drinks.
Kerry
--- End of Central America ---
