[3915] in Central_America
New quotes for Tue Dec 10
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Tue Dec 10 01:33:08 1991
Date: Tue, 10 Dec 91 01:32:38 EST
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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cpbarrin (Christopher Paul BarringtonLeigh):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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cyrus (Cyrus Shaoul):
I request a weekend in Havana with Phil Silvers!
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heff (Heather Anne Kinner):
can i go now?
anybody want some yoda? :-)
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honor (Andrew John Cassidy):
grr... i wish i knew
life is really weird
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hooch (Conrad G. T. Yoder):
I will be leaving this God-forsaken place on 21 Dec 1991, only to return for
more punishment on 4 Jan 1992. Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.
Current Address: Parental Units:
Baker House Room 517 55178 T.R. 170
x5-7267 Fresno, OH 43824
18C/4 (614)545-6796
Quotes of the Week:
"My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted."
- Steven Wright
"Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic."
- Dan Rather
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jtkohl (John T Kohl):
Date: Mon, 9 Dec 91 13:32:57 PST
From: "This is unfair"@mc.lcs.mit.edu,
you had a boat 09-Dec-1991 1630 <hainsworth@3d.enet.dec.com>
To: kochanski@3d.enet.dec.com, goodwin@royalt.enet.dec.com,
apo_broadcast@pa.dec.com
Cc: hainsworth@3d.enet.dec.com
Apparently-To: apo@mc.lcs.mit.edu, gpk@physics.att.com
Subject: What it's all about...
from off the net....
PRACTICE
RANDOM KINDNESS
AND
SENSELESS ACTS OF BEAUTY
It's a crisp winter day in San Francisco. A woman in a red Honda, Christ-
mas presents piled in the back, drives up to the Bay Bridge tollbooth.
"I'm paying for myself, and for the six cars behind me," she says with a
smile, handing over seven commuter tickets.
One after another, the next six drivers arrive at the tollbooth, dollars
in hand, only to be told, "Some lady up ahead already paid your fare.
Have a nice day."
The woman in the Honda, it turned out, had read something on an index
card taped to a friend's refrigerator: "Practice random kindness and
senseless acts of beauty." The phrase seemed to leap out at her, and she
copied it down.
Judy Foreman spotted the same phrase spray-painted on a warehouse wall a
hundred miles from her home. When it stayed on her mind for days, she
gave up and drove all the way back to copy it down. "I thought it was
incredibly beautiful," she said explaining why she's taken to writing it
at the bottom of all her letters, "like a message from above."
Her husband, Frank, liked the phrase so much that he put it up on the
wall for his seventh graders, one of whom was the daughter of a local
columnist. The columnist put it in the paper, admitting that though she
liked it, she didn't know where it came from [sic] or what it really
meant.
Two days later, she heard from Anne Herbert. Tall, blonde, and forty,
Herbert lives in Marin, one of the country's ten richest counties, where
she house-sits, takes odd-jobs, and gets by. It was in a Sausalito
restaurant that Herbert jotted the phrase down on a paper place mat,
after turning it around in her mind for days.
"That's wonderful!" a man sitting nearby said, and copied it down
carefully on his own placemat.
"Here's the idea," Herbert says. "anything you think there should be
more of, do it randomly."
Her own fantasies include: (1) breaking into depressing-looking schools
to paint the classrooms, (2) leaving hot meals on kitchen tables in the
poor parts of town, (3) slipping money into a proud old woman's purse.
Says Herbert, "kindness can build on itself as much as violence can."
Now the phrase is spreading, on bumper stickers, on walls, at the bottom
of letters and business cards. And as it spreads, so does a vision of
guerrilla goodness.
In Portland, Oregon, a man might plunk a coin into a stranger's meter
just in time. In Patterson, New Jersey, a dozen people with pails and
mops and tulip bulbs might descend on a run-down house and clean it from
top to bottom while the frail elderly owners look on, dazed and smiling.
In Chicago, a teenage boy may be shoveling off the driveway when the
impulse strikes. What the hell, nobody's looking, he thinks, and shovels
the neighbor's driveway, too.
It's positive anarchy, disorder, a sweet disturbance. A woman in Boston
writes "Merry Christmas!" to the tellers on the back of her checks. A
man in St. Louis, whose car has just been rear-ended by a young woman,
waves her away, saying, "It's a scratch. Don't Worry."
Senseless acts of beauty spread: A man plants daffodils along the
roadway, his shirt billowing in the breeze from passing cars. In
Seattle, a man appoints himself a one man vigilante sanitation service
and roams the concrete hills collecting litter in a supermarket cart. In
Atlanta, a man scrubs graffiti from a green park bench.
They say you can't smile without cheering yourself up a little --
likewise, you can't commit a random act of kindness without feeling as
if your own troubles have been lightened if only because the world has
become a slightly better place.
And you can't be a recipient without feeling a shock, a pleasant jolt.
If you were one of those rush-hour drivers who found your bridge fare
paid, who knows what you might have been inspired to do for someone else
later? Wave someone on in the intersection? Smile at a tired clerk? Or
something larger, greater? Like all revolutions, guerrilla goodness
begins slowly, with a single act. Let it be yours.
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kenneths (Kenneth J. Schneider):
Address at Theta Chi: Address at Home:
528 Beacon Street 4005 Birdwell
Boston, MA 02215 Tyler, TX 75703
(617) 267-1801 ext. 142 (903) 581-0216
Last logged on Thu Jul 16 17:14:49 EDT 1970 on host john-w-campbell .MIT.EDU
Last logged on Mon Dec 9 19:21:56 EST 1991 on host e40-008-9 .MIT.EDU
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lsc (Lecture Series Committee):
LSC Movies for the weekend of Dec 12 to Dec 14
Thu. Dec 12 Terminator II: Judgement Day 26-100 6:30 & 10
On Judgement Day (August 29, 1997), the world as we know it came to an
end. The humans who survived, led by a man named John Conner, fought
to defeat the computer intelligences that destroyed their world. At
their moment of victory, the computers sent back two Terminators to
change the past. The first one tried to kill Conner's mother, Sarah,
before he was born. He failed. The second one will try to kill
Conner himself as a 14-year-old boy. Will he succeed?
Fri. Dec 13 Miracle on 34th Street (1946) 10-250 7:30
[ dir: George Seaton; with Maureen O'Hara, Edmund Gwenn, John
Payne, and Natalie Wood ]
An old man (Gwenn), hired to be Macy's Santa, claims to be the
real thing and is forced to prove it, not only to a little girl
(Wood) and her cynical mother (O'Hara), but to the court as well.
A charming American Christmas classic that won Gwenn an Oscar and
will put you in the holidy spirit.
Fri. Dec 13 The Rocketeer 26-100 7 & 10
In this Joe Johnston (Honey, I Shrunk the Kids) film, Cliff Secord
(Bill Campbell) straps on a fire-powered jet pack and becomes the
phantom Rocketeer. Timothy Dalton plays Neville Sinclair, a Nazi spy
who would do anything to get his hands on the jet pack.
Sat. Dec 14 Scrooged 26-100 7 & 10
Get into the Christmas spirit with LSC's last movie of the term. Bill
Murray is the television executive whose life is changed for the
better by the visits of the three spirits. It'll move you, by
Dickens!
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For more information, call the LSC MovieLine, 258-8881,
or the LSC office, 253-3791.
MIT or Wellesley ID required, one guest allowed per ID.
Admission to movies is $1.50 and a 20-Admission
Superticket is available for $28.
Classic Movie shows end before the start of the second
show of the corresponding Friday series movie.
Problems and changes to the mailing list should be addressed to
info-lsc-request@zurich.ai.mit.edu
This service is neither maintained nor supported by the
MIT Lecture Series Committee.
To see this information again, finger -l lsc@zurich.ai.mit.edu
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nicvek (Nicos A Vekiarides):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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rnewman (Ron Newman):
Home: (617) 628-8895; 48 Kent St., Somerville MA 02143
Work: BBN, (617) 873-6339
For those of you who missed it in _The Tech_ last Friday
(December 6, page 1):
DU error may have caused fire
by Josh Hartmann
A mistake by Delta Upsilon's current pledge class may have
led to the Nov. 12 fire that destroyed an MIT Outing Club
cabin, though no official determination of the fire's cause has
been made.
"When the DU pledge class was up there the night before,
they didn't know how to turn on the gas heater," said Harold C.
Payson, manager of the cabin. "They didn't know they had
one. They found what they thought was a wood-burning
furnace and threw on some logs."
The freshmen actually lit the container for a composting toilet--
fiberglass filled with wood-chips, sawdust, and bacteria to
allow decomposition, Payson said.
"The directions [at the cabin] said the furnace was in the
basement, and it is in the basement ceiling," said DU president
Erik. D. Larson '92, who was not at the cabin. The freshmen
later realized their mistake and lit the real furnace, then put
out the fire in the toilet and stirred the coals.
While eating lunch the next day, one member of the group
smelled burning fiberglass. They opened up the toilet and
saw glowing coals, Payson said. They then poured 20 gallons
of water over the coals to extinguish them. Larson said some
pledges put their hands into the coals and were convinced
that the fire was out. The cabin burned down the next morning.
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sao (Andy Oakland):
The Vatican has just published the first update of the Lexicon Recentis
Latinitas in 30 years. Here are a few important entries (from
Harpers):
television - instrumentum televisificum
photocopy - exemplar luce expressum
car wash - autocinetorum lavatrix
fax - exemplum simillime expressum
pinball machine - sphaeriludium electricum nomismate actum
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sdpatek (Stephen D Patek):
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smlevis (Levi's Button-Fly 501's):
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starflt (Derrick Kong):
NO ONE GETS INTO HEAVEN UNTIL I GET A RAISE!
In Super Squadron (Adventure Simulations), a super hero who gets the
occupation "God" then rolls for "Average Pay."
from Murphy's Rules
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therese (Therese):
Go placidly among the noise and haste, remember what peace
there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with with all persons. Speak your truth
quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and
ignorant, they too have their story - Avoid loud and aggressive
persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare
yourself with others, there will be greater and lesser persons
than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans -
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a
real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise
caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of
trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere, life is full
of heroism - Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity
and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass - Take kindly
to the counsel of they years, gracefully surrending the things
of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden
misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome
discipline, be gentle with yourself - You are a child of the
universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right
to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the
universe is unfolding as it should - Therefore be at peace with
God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors
and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with
your soul - With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is
still a beautiful world. Be careful, strive to be happy.
- Max Ehrman
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tracadas (Philip W Tracadas):
Apple //gs forever!!
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vivace (Terence M Collins):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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warlord (Derek Atkins):
From: chuck@trantor.harris-atd.com (Chuck Musciano)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Latest Sun and IBM announcements
Keywords: computer, smirk, original
Date: 9 Dec 91 00:30:04 GMT
Organization: Harris Corp. Melbourne, FL
It seems that each week, you hear of yet another subsidiary being spun
off by Sun, and IBM forming another alliance with some smaller company. This
announcement crossed my desk today:
SUN ANNOUNCES NEW SUBSIDIARY; IBM TO PARTNER WITH DENNY'S
Sun Microsystems today announced the creation of yet another subsidiary,
bringing the total number of Sun wholly-owned subsidiaries to 1,207. After
successfully creating SunSoft, Sun Microsystems Computer Corporation, SunPICS,
SunConnect, and a number of other smaller firms, Sun has created SunLHMPPP.
SunLHMPPP is tasked with addressing the specific niche market of users that
require both left handed mice and a parallel printer port on their workstations.
Howard Detwieler, president of SunPR, the public relations subsidiary of
Sun, explained the move: "We feel that a growing number of left handed users
are moving into the workstation world, and a lot of them have printers with
parallel ports. By creating this new company to meet their needs, left handed
users with parallel printers can be assured of specific, long term help from
Sun."
The firm is composed of six employees in an office down the hall from
Scott McNealy. The president of SunLHMPPP, Fred Testaverno, is bullish about
his target market. "We think that this will be a big, big profit opportunity
for Sun. Our initial research indicates that the left handed users with
parallel printers market is so big, we have begun the process of creating two
sub-subsidiaries, SunLHMPPP-LHM and SunLHMPPP-PPP. That way, we can meet the
needs of left handed users WITHOUT parallel printers. And vice versa.
Or both."
Sun Microsystems is a three billion dollar firm that produces a variety
of advanced computing hardware and software. Sun focuses on powerful solutions
to the big problems facing companies in the '90s: too many vice presidents, and
too few promotion slots in upper management.
In a related story, IBM has announced a long-term technology sharing
agreement with the Denny's restaurant chain. An IBM spokesman indicated that
the move is an indication of IBM's commitment to stay in business through a
series of increasingly pathetic consortium attempts. "Frankly, our competitors
are eating our lunch in this very competitive marketplace. With Denny's, we
can start serving lunch, and maybe stay ahead of the game."
Analysts welcome the move, pointing out that both firms mesh nicely. "IBM
has never been in the restaurant business, and the only computers at Denny's
are the cash registers. The two firms complement each other perfectly. Best
of all, both companies can retain the menu driven interfaces to their products
without confusing the end user!"
The first joint effort between the two companies will be an offering from
IBM involving expansion disk drives encased in an edible, pita bread housing.
Denny's will begin selling a Grand Slam Workstation, and will offer a free
memory upgrade to every customer on their birthday.
IBM is a multi-jillion dollar firm that used to sell a large number of
computers. They continue to stay in business, even though no one has met a
person who has actually purchased an IBM machine in the past five years.
--
Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
Remember: Always give your jokes a descriptive "Subject:" line.
Don't use "joke" or "submission" or "joke submission," please.
--- End of Central America ---
