[3914] in Central_America
New quotes for Mon Dec 9
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Mon Dec 9 01:33:57 1991
Date: Mon, 9 Dec 91 01:33:14 EST
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
alchen (Alice Chen):
I know I'm not perfect
I wanted to be
But I have this big mouth
That always contradicts me
You say you don't know
I say anything goes
But if you think it's over
Then this you should know
Don't you come around here no more
Don't you waste my time
Don't you dare to call me
Don't you even have me on your mind
Was it something I said
Or something you read
That's changing your mind
That's turning you around
Was somebody wrong
Or somebody right
What could make up your mind
What can change overnight
from:
SOMETHING I SAID
Orchestral Manouevres in the Dark
==============================================================================
Look at the .project under my account alchen@fenchurch.mit.edu
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
bonehead (William M Scruggs):
After I graduate I going to drink lots of beer and stay up all night!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
dream (Julie Stephens):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
flame (Susan A. Lucas):
To convince the world that feminists aren't horrid baby-killing,
bra-burning, man-hating emotionally unstable bitches from hell.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
jik (Jonathan I. Kamens):
O
O O O O | O O O O
| | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | |
\ \ \ \ | / / / /
\ \ \ \ | / / / /
\ \ \ \|/ / / /
\ \ \ | / / /
\ \ \_|_/ / /
\ \ | / /
\ \__|__/ /
\ | /
\___|___/
|
___|___
/ | \
===========
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
jimhsu (Jimmy M Hsu):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
lmmacri (Lucas Matias MACRI):
Travel plans:
DEC 18 - JAN 22: Buenos Aires, Argentina (Phone # 54-1-544-3476 after 12/26).
I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! :->
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
starflt (Derrick Kong):
PIZZA GENERATION TABLE
Roll 2d6:
2: Uncooked
3: Piping hot (straight out of the oven)
4: Quite warm (5-10 minutes out)
5: Lukewarm (30 minutes to 1 hour)
6: Slightly cool (1-3 hours)
7: Cold (3-5 hours)
8: Stale (1 day)
9: Feed it to the dog (2-3 days)
10: Dog refuses (3-7 days)
11: Feed it to the Orcs (1-4 weeks)
12: Use it as a shield (more than 4 weeks)
from Murphy's Rules
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
therese (Therese):
Corpulent generals safe behind lines
History's lessons drowned in red wine
Poppies for young men, death's bitter trade
All of those young lives betrayed
All of those young lives betrayed
All for a children's crusade
- Sting
Dream of the Blue Turtles
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
warlord (Derek Atkins):
From: slewis@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Sarah L Lewis)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: ARE YOU AN INTERNET NERD?
Keywords: computer, original, funny
Date: 7 Dec 91 00:30:05 GMT
----------------------------------------------------------------------
This quiz is dedicated to all of those people who find themselves
constantly roaming the net. Do you leave yourself logged in
twenty-four hours a day, even when you're not home? Is your
wpm typing speed higher than your IQ? Are you having trouble seeing
things at distances greater than 2 feet? Yes, YOU. You know who
you are.
Ok... shall we begin? Yes? 5 points... (you could've backed out.)
Unless otherwise stated, point values are as follows: 2 for (a), 4 for
(b), 6 for (c), and 10 for (d).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) How many valid net addresses do you have?
Multiple machines at the same site do not count.
____Internet ____UUCP ____Other public access ____Other
____Bitnet ____Freenet ____Internet BBS ____All seven
(2 points each)
2) How many hours did it take for you to create your .sig?
a) Huh?
b) More than one
c) More than five
d) I'm still looking for a really funky quote
3) On an average working day, how many email messages do you receive?
a) Nobody sends me any mail... snif
b) Three, but they're all from Lester in the next cubicle
over, because he has nothing better to do
c) I can't count that high, I failed calculus
d) Don't ask me now, I'm too busy. Send me e-mail.
4) Alright, fess up. Have you ever read alt.sex.bondage just to
see what the heck those perverts were talking about?
a) Yes, and I'm so ashamed
b) Yes, and I'm so embarrassed
c) Yes, and would you please explain a few things to me...
d) No, never. (10 points. You're lying.)
5) Have you ever met one of your past SO's (significant others)
via a computer network?
a) No
b) Yes, through a newsgroup we both posted on
c) Yes, by chatting randomly over the Internet (shame!)
d) Yes, by chatting over RELAY
6) Once you've logged onto your system, what do you spend most
of your time doing?
a) Going through the library system and putting books on reserve
b) Reading _Alice in Wonderland_ in the online bookshelf
c) Reading the monthly postings on rec.humor.funny
d) Writing up stupid quizzes because you've done everything else
7) If someone were to telephone your home at any given moment of the
day, what would be the percent chance that your phone would
be busy?
a) Zero... I've got call waiting
b) 25%.... I only dial in from work (Uh, hi, boss)
c) 75%.... Duh, so that's why nobody ever calls me
d) Zero... My modem has a separate phone line
8) Which usenet newsgroups do you spend the most time reading?
a) The comp. groups... because they're so informative
b) The soc. groups.... because they're so multicultural
c) The rec. groups.... because they're so diverting
d) The alt. groups.... because I don't know what half those
words mean
9) What's your worst complaint about having an Internet account?
a) I have to pay $5/month for it
b) The damn sysadmins won't give me enough quota to hold
all my .gif's
c) All those programmers keep tying up the modem lines
d) I have to stay in school to keep it
10) Check your watch now. What time is it?
a) 10 am... coffee break
b) 3 pm.... General Hospital's on
c) 12 am... one last login before I hit the sack
d) 4 am.... Oh my God, I've got a test tomorrow
ALRIGHT, GUYS. SCORING TIME.
0-25 points: You're not a nerd. Go read a manual or two and come back
next year.
25-50 points: You're an up-and-coming Internet nerd. Why don't you
telnet over to 128.6.4.8 and play around with the Quartz
BBS for a while.
50-75 points: You're a full-fledged Internet nerd. Join the club.
75-100 points: You're an Internet addict. Try going to the library
this week, it'll do you some good.
100+ points: You're an Internet obsessive-compulsive. Unplug your
computer, go out in the woods for a few days, and relax.
Lay back and listen to the birds singing. Clear your mind.
And don't forget to unsubscribe yourself from all those
lists before you leave.
---- written by slewis@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Sarah Lewis) in a moment
of extreme boredom. Disclaimer: OSU doesn't know I wrote this, and
it's probably better that way. Sigh. Time to hit the books....
--
Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
Please! No copyrighted stuff. Also no "mouse balls," dyslexic agnostics,
Iraqi driver's ed, Administratium, strings in bar or bell-ringer jokes.
--- End of Central America ---
