[3688] in Central_America
New quotes for Fri Oct 11
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Fri Oct 11 01:30:44 1991
Date: Fri, 11 Oct 91 01:30:12 EDT
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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celine (Rob F):
Get new shoes.
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jcbourne (Juliet C Bourne):
Gone to Pittsburgh, folks, until late Monday night... (10/11-10/14)
----
Companionship, partnership, mutual reassurance, someone to laugh with
and grieve with, loyalty that accepts foibles, someone to touch, someone
to hold your hand -- these things are "marriage," and sex is but the
icing on the cake. (Lazarus Long)
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jik (Jonathan I. Kamens):
Article: 2815 of rec.humor.funny
Path: bloom-picayune.mit.edu!snorkelwacker.mit.edu!apple!usc!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!looking!funny-request
From: davidl@ssd.intel.com (David D. Levine)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Why Usenet is Like a Penis
Keywords: original, funny, usenet
Message-ID: <S30f.478@looking.on.ca>
Date: 9 Oct 91 10:30:05 GMT
Lines: 56
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca
Reasons why Usenet is like a penis:
* It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard
to get any real work done.
* In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information
considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still
think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today
use it for fun most of the time.
* It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will
just do the same damn dumb things it did before.
* It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this
interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's
hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too
late.
* If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread
viruses.
* It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too
much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
* We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size
and influence warrant.
* If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.
* It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it
will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself "why on earth did
I do that?"
* Some folks have it, some don't.
Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They
think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it
gives them power. They are wrong.
Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's
not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many
of those who don't have it would like to try it.
* Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people
would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
--
- David D. Levine, Intel Supercomputer Systems Division
davidl@ssd.intel.com - or - davidl@isc.intel.com
My other computer is a Touchstone DELTA System.
--
Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
If you mail to original@looking.on.ca, it makes sure that your joke is tagged
as your original work, and thus eligible for the RHF comedy awards. Always
attribute the source of a joke, whether it's you, or somebody else.
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kenneths (Kenneth J Schneider):
Last logged on Fri Oct 11 00:51:51 EDT 1991
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mlbulyk (Martha L Bulyk):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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starflt (Derrick Kong):
THE ENGINES CANNA TAKE IT, CAP'N!
The Federation Space designer's notes mention that "The movement
factors exceed the maximum speed of any ship (as given in @i(Star Fleet
Battles)) by a considerable margin. This is because even at its
emergency speed of Warp Seven, it would take the Federation's heavy
cruiser over 50 years to reach the Klingon border!"
from Murphy's Rules
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therese (Therese):
I sink like a stone that's been thrown in the ocean
My logic has drowned in a sea of emotion.
Stop before you start,
Be still my beating heart.
-- Sting
Nothing Like the Sun
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wslee (Whay Sing Lee):
Move on, move on, never look back. That is the way of life.
~~~~~~~~~~
Address: Box 52, 3 Ames Street, Cambridge, MA 02139.
Tel: (617)225-6211 (H) (617)253-6048 (W)
Alternate e-mail address : wslee@ai.mit.edu
~~~~~~~~~~
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-->> Thu Oct 10 15:19:10 EDT 1991
-->> I logged OUT from wslee@e40-008-5.mit.edu
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--- End of Central America ---
