[1521] in Central_America
New quotes for Sat May 27
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Sat May 27 01:28:53 1989
Date: Sat, 27 May 89 01:29:14 EDT
From: Initializer.SysDaemon <root@CHARON.MIT.EDU>
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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amgreene (Andrew Marc Greene):
In New York until the SIPB party (11 June)
179-50 80 Road
Jamaica Estates, NY 11432
(718)-380-3466
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brlewis (Bruce R Lewis):
I will be going home to Missouri from May 26 to June 2. I may be reached
at
901 North Main St.
Maryville, MO 64468
(816) 582 - 5832
during that time.
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capsalad (Dave Schulman):
Now we know, once and for all, that Paul Gray is Elvis.
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celine (Robert Fullmer):
School's over, I'm a senior, and I'm not graduating.
Score:
Robert: 0 MIT: 1
But I'll be back next term for the final round...
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Down the street, a new Burger King restaurant is going up and nobody
cares. In a couple of days when it's finished, everyone will think
it has been there forever. Except for me.
Burger Kings bug me for six reasons. Number one: They kill cows.
Number two: The cows they kill graze on the site of murdered forests.
Number three: The cows they kill that killed the forests are full
of hormones. Number four: The hormone-full cows they kill that
killed the forests are full of bad-for-your-heart fat. Number five:
The bad-for-your-heart, hormone-full, forest-killing, dead cows are
wrapped in bad-for-the-earth plastic. And number six: What the hell's
a Burger King anyhow? A burger is, literally and in the original
linguistic sense, a tradesman who lives in a city; a king is an aristo-
crat. Burgers and kings were traditional enemies. Hence, the phrase
"burger king" is absurd. I know "burger" is short for hamburger, and
"king" means nothing in America. Still, it bugs me that bad-for-your-
heart, hormone-full, forest-killing dead cows, wrapped in bad-for-the-
earth plastic are also linguistically unpalatable. Maybe you can live
with that. I can't.
A friend of mine imagined a prison without bars where you go in
skinny but are fed so many burgers you can't go out the same door.
Who needs bars? We've got Burger King. We can hold the skinny and
foolish inside until they are round and docile like hamburgers.
Our penal system would be at once more humane and more severe, more
democratic (like a burger), and more merciful (like a king). I have
vegetarian friends who swear that when you die, you go to a place where
you're surrounded by all the animals you've eaten, each one missing
the part you ate: cows with one or two burgers taken out, chickens with
one wing missing, legless sheep. They cry piteaously for all eternity
calling for their missing parts. If that's true - and there is
certainly no evidence to the contrarty - these animals, in their
ghostly forms, are already surrounding the Burger Kings of the world,
mounting the pitiful chorus about the unconscious diners. How can
people eat with all the racket?
The other day, I saw a dog eating a leftover burger in a parking lot
behind a Burger King. Did he know he was eating a cow? Did he know
he was eating something ten times bigger than he is? I asked him,
and he said he knew all that but he ate it nonetheless because it was
free. I then asked a human why he ate at Burger King, and he said
that it was cheap. Both those answers are excellent reasons for being
completely unaware of what we put inside our bodies. Not only are the
Burger King cows free or cheap to dog and man alike (very democratic),
they are easy to eat. It takes barely any time to eat either a leftover
burger or a whole one. In the old days when we had to go after
animals with a hammer and a knife, it wasn't so easy to eat them.
It also took a lot of time and time is money, so killing wasn't cheap.
The problem, someone explained to me, is that animals don't have any
money. That's why we treat them badly, and that's why we eat them.
We treat children badly for the same reason, though we don't eat
them.
Perhaps the time has come for animals to get paid for what they do.
Perhaps the time has come for us to eat our children.
Or maybe we should just tear down the Burger Kings.
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edyamp (Ed Yampratoom):
Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
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grogo (Gregory Rogalski):
I'll be back in Milwaukee until June 12. Phone (414)-529-1728.
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hga (Harold G Ancell):
Birthday December 4
Emergencies: call Anne Hunter, 617-253-7329 work, 625-5765 home
My Home: 603-664-9751
Saulnier Building, Apt. 3
Route 125
Barrington, NH 03825
Live Free or Die!
- - -
Trouble rather the tiger in his lair than the sage amongst his
books. For to you Kingdoms and their armies are things mighty and
enduring, but to him the are but toys of the moment, to be overturned
by the flicking of a finger....
Lessons: Anonymous
(from _The Tactics of Mistake_, by Gordon Dickson)
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jh (Joseph Harrington):
Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that
would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that
you undoubtably will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer
maneuver. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THIS
OWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE. YOU ALREADY
UNPACKED IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED
IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD
WHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDED AND
SET IT ON "FAST FORWARD", THIS CHILD ALSO IS FIDDLING WITH HE KNOBS,
RIGHT? AND YOU'RE JUST NOW STARTING TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS,
RIGHT??? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE
FACTORY BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?
-- Dave Barry, "Read This First!"
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lwvanels (Lucien Van Elsen):
Life would be simple indeed, Robert
If it were only two roads that diverged in the wood;
but I see hundreds
and hundreds more lie not ten feet beyond each one
so on and so forth forever and ever
the riddle of the hydra's heads seems trivial by comparison.
As for ``less traveled'', well, the majority of those roads
are left less traveled for good reasons
the height of the grass is often a good liar.
The only thing that gives me any hope at all
is the faith (for we never know it as a fact)
that enough of those paths merge or eat their own tails
to make your picture right after all, in some renormalized way.
No question that a wall lies at the end of any road we chose.
--- End of Central America ---
