[89409] in tlhIngan-Hol
Re: nuq bop bom: 'ay' wa'maH wej
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Rohan Fenwick - QeS 'utlh)
Sat Sep 3 06:11:25 2011
From: Rohan Fenwick - QeS 'utlh <qeslagh@hotmail.com>
To: <tlhingan-hol@kli.org>
Date: Sat, 3 Sep 2011 20:00:39 +1000
In-Reply-To: <6.2.5.6.2.20110901184924.0803ea40@flyingstart.ca>
Errors-to: tlhingan-hol-bounce@kli.org
Reply-to: tlhingan-hol@kli.org
ghItlhpu' Qov, jatlh:
> Huy'Du' pep QeDpIn 'ej lojmIt ngaQmoH.
Hrm. My first thought was that it should be pepmoH, but I'm not sure
we have any canon usages of pep in context that would show whether it's
transitive or intransitive, so I won't correct this.
> jatlhqa' HoD, "DaH lut qaja'."
>
> "ghe'naQ 'oHbe'nIS."
If I can make a stylistic suggestion, what do you think about adding
jay'? "This had better not be another friggin' opera."
> DubwIj 'emDaq DeSDu'wIj bagh 'ej choQDaq ngIbDu'wIj ngaQ mIrmey.
ngaQ*moH* mIrmey, qar'a'?
> ngIbDu'wIjDaq SaHtaHvIS mIr jIyIt 'e' luraD.
Did you consider rar or ngaQ, to emphasise the difficulty of walking
with these chains on? Something with vuS might be another option.
> jIyIntaHmo' 'oy'vetlh vItlho'.
That's an unusual usage of tlho', but I like it.
> DeSwIj baghlu'mo'
*lu*baghlu'mo'.
> jIyItmeH mupep tlhInganpu'. ghegh DIrDaj.
DIr*chaj*, qar'a'?
> chobmey wIvegh,
*DI*vegh. (Though heaven knows I've made this error plenty myself.)
> "ghobe'. ghu'wIj DayajmeH wanI'meyvam qaja' neH." QeDpIn qab bej HoD.
> "DayajlaH'a'? bIHegh 'e' DaHar, ghIq bIHeghbe', a ratlh pagh.
It's not quite clear to me what you mean when you say {ratlh pagh} here.
Nothing of what remains?
> Soj nob. choQ lamDaq jIQottaHmo'
Assuming they're still on a spaceship, a dirt floor sounds odd. yav or
rav might be better here.
> "ghaHvaD pagh Dawel! Duwel.
I like what you've done with {wel} in this passage!
Do you think it's worth using added pronouns for emphasis here? So rather
than just Duwel, maybe Duwel ghaH or SoH Duwel ghaH?
QeS 'utlh
