[2483] in tlhIngan-Hol
KSRP: Henriy' vagh: comments
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Sat Jan 8 10:26:26 1994
Reply-To: "Klingon Language List" <tlhIngan-Hol@klingon.East.Sun.COM>
From: nsn@vis.mu.OZ.AU (Nick NICHOLAS)
To: "Klingon Language List" <tlhIngan-Hol@klingon.East.Sun.COM>
Date: Sun, 9 Jan 94 2:23:48 EDT
# 'alIS } qaretIn toywI'
qaterIn
#lIHbogh 'ay'
#jatlhwI': toH naDev Suchjaj qul Qumqa'
# 'oghHeyghach chal wovqu' SallaHbogh
The Muse is climbing the heaven of invention, so qul Qumqa' has to go after
SallaHbogh. Also, -Hey is a noun suffix, so it cannot follow the verb
'ogh, but must follow -ghach. Thus:
toH, naDev Suchjaj 'oghghachHey chal wovqu'
SallaHbogh qul Qumqa''e'
# qaSDI' wanI'vetlh naDev So'Ha' HarIy'
the "like himself" is glossed in my edition as "with all his true
attributes". I don't think we need translate this somewhat tricky concept
as any other than "HarIy'na'"; *shrug*.
# veS voDlaH rur ghaH 'ej DaSDajDaq lo'beH
Again, you use voDlaH for voDleH
# targhmey qu' tlheghmeyDaq
# Dabogh ghungqu'taHghach'e' 'etlh'e' qul'e' je
Indirect objects precede direct objects, so: tlheghmeyDaq targhmey qu'
Dabogh... otherwise, your phrase means: "fierce dogs, hunger etc. who behave
on ropes".
# ravvamDaq leghlu' DIvI' puH'a' net ta'laH'a'
That should still be DIvI' puH'a' leghlu'; otherwise, whether the -lu' is
present or not, the vasty fields of France would be doing the seeing.
# lut'a'vam ja'qa'meH lo'laHbe' jIH Hoch je ?
As the annotation says, the weak pun the Chorus is making here is: a zero
(crooked figure) can go to make up a 1000000, so us small-time players can
make something big. How you choose to handle this is up to you.
# pa'HomvamDaq ngaS cha' wo'mey HoSqu' 'e' yIel
'e' yiqel; and since the mighty monarchies are contained, rather than
containing, pa'HomvamDaq cha' wo'mey Hosqu' ngaSlu', or cha' wo'mey Hosqu'
ngaS pa'Homvam
# mISqu'ba'ghachmo' poH chuS je
I can't say this is ungrammatical, but I'd have preferred mISqu'ghachmo'
poH chuSmo' je, or even bov mISmo' 'ej chuSmo', though I have little
evidence for conjunction of adjectives. Also, Xmo', Y-DI' Z, W seems to
me wrong word order; if we follow strict word-order, the Xmo' belongs
with the main clause, and the Y-DI' clause should either precede or follow
both.
# juHwI' DaH chay' chutvam wISuv
joHwi'
# Qapchugh chutvam vaj Dochmey wIghajbogh bID wIghajbe'
wIghajbe'choH, perhaps, to say "lose" rather than "lack". I certainly hope
Dochmey wIghajbogh bID is grammatical, though it's quite ambiguous.
# puH'a''e' nobta'bogh loDpu' quv nunge' chutvam
Hm. nunge' - it takes us away? I'd let nunge' mean take away for us, but not
take away from us. I'd say:
lalDanneghvaD puH'a''e' nobta'bogh loDpu' vuv, HeghDI' chaH, nge' chutvam
This law would take away the lands which respetful men have given to the
religious soldier-group, when they die.
(For all the temporal lands which men devout
By testament have given to the Church
Would they strip from us)
# wa'maH vagh SuvwI'pu' quv
Fifteen *hundred*: wa'SaD vaghvatlh
# javSaD cha'vatlh muvmoHwI'pu'
Esquires are candidates for knighthood, attending a knight. I'd say trainee
warriors = warrior students = SuvwI' ghojwI'pu'
You're missing three lines; I'd suggest:
vumlaHbe'bogh ropwI'pu' qanwI'pu' puj mipbe' je Qorghlu'meH
wa'vatlh raQ je DIlchu'laH puH'a'vam
# DIS Hoch wa'SaD DeQmey Hevbej ta'ma'
I'm not sure "every year" can be translated as DIS Hoch; I'd say qaSDI' DIS
Hoch.
# QuptaHvIS ghaH 'IplaHghach ghajbe'
While he was young, he had no capacity of swearing it? A possible translation
for "The courses of his youth promised it not"; I'd have said:
'e' pIHmoHlaHbe' QupghachDaj [He]
# vaj Hegh Ha'DIbaH Dalaw'ghachDaj je
You translate wildlness as "seemingly acting like an animal"; given the
behaviour being condemned (young Harry's rowdiness), I'd have said tlhIvghach.
"Mortified in him" is a theological reference to a sinner's soul dying before
receiving grace; again, insert or omit as you will.
# qaSDI' lupvam ghaHvo' lo'taHvIS QIghpej
# qabtaHghach Huplaw'ta' veqlargh
I don't understand this. "When this second happened, the Devil apparently
punished the evil, an agoniser using." For "Yea, at the moment, Consideration
like an angel came And whipped th' offending Adam out of him", I'd say:
qaSDI' lupvam, ghaHvo' qabtaHghach DoHmoH lalDanmang Dabogh qelghach'e',
QIghpej lo'taHvIS
# vaj chal charghmeH ratlhpu' QI'tu' rurbogh porghDaj'e' neH
"envelop and contain celestial spirits" doesn't seem to me to be chargh,
but just ngaS
# not SoDDaq qaSpu' choHmut (choH-mut)
choHmut for reformation --- change species? choH Sar, at least. I'd say
Daghach choHvam, or Daghach choHvam rurbogh choH'e'.
# voDleH quS ba'ta'DI' ghaH vaj
# Qaw'pu' lobHa'taHghach'e' rurbogh ghargh
The Qaw'pu' should be Qaw'lu'pu', and go after ghargh, since the wilfulness
is destroyed.
# choHvammo' quvmoH maH
choHvammo' maquv, or nuquvmoH choHvam
# ghaH yIQoy 'ach QI'tu'Daq ghoSnIS meqtaHghachlIj
# 'ej DaHo'taHvIS qeSwI''a' quv ghaHchoH DaneH voDleH
The "but" means "only, merely", and the whole construction means "if only...".
This should read:
ghaH DaQoychugh, lalDan neH ja'taHvIS,
bIHo' 'ej poQmo' qa'lIj, qeSwI''a' quv ghaHchoH voDleH DaneH
# Dochmey ram ngach 'e' DaQoy
# ghu'meyvetlh HaDta' ghaH net Har
qum malja' ngach 'e' DaQoychugh,
"malja'vam Hoch pagh latlh je HaDta' ghaH", DajatlhnIS
# Suv jatlhDI' ghaH vaj (music)Daq may' qu' munob
Suv is not a noun; veS jatlhDI', or veS ja'DI'. chuschu'ghach is how I
translate music.
# gharDaq DaqImmoH 'ej
DaqImmoH is good
# mISta'a'' tlhegh QeyHa'moHlaH ghaH
mISta''a' doesn't work; mISta'ghach'a', or mIS'a'.
# ngeD wanImeyvam ta'meH ghaH (?)
# vaj yopwaHDaj tuQ ghaH 'e' rur wanI'meyvam
I don't see where your first phrase belongs; I'd have just said:
yopwaHDaj tuQ ghaH 'e' rur wanI'vam ngeDmo'
# yuch mu'tlheghmeyDaj nIHmeH
# nuvpu' Qoy'wI'Daq loStaH tamqu'ghach
Unfortunately, Qoy'wI'Daq has to go before nuvpu', and thus before the whole
nIHmeH clause. You could always transpose this clause to before loStaH
# vaj yIn nger Saw leghlaHbe'pu' Dochmeyvetlh 'e' ta'lu'taHvIS
[I think your text got garbled from here on; skipping 40 lines]
# jatlhlaHpa' DIvI'ngan Dochmey ja'bogh vISov
# 'e' vISuD
Or just: vIloylaH, rather than vISov 'e' vISuD
--
== == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == ==
Nick Nicholas, Breather {le'o ko na rivbi fi'inai palci je tolvri danlu}
nsn@krang.vis.mu.oz.au -- Miguel Cervantes tr. Jorge LLambias
