[22559] in APO-L
Re: [APO-L] Gentlemens Agreement, Co-ed Re-activation
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Rich Quodomine)
Wed Apr 24 08:08:49 2002
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed
Message-ID: <F136vcMQWWNJztLmJFX00001d36@hotmail.com>
Date: Wed, 24 Apr 2002 08:08:41 -0400
Reply-To: Rich Quodomine <aposatan@hotmail.com>
From: Rich Quodomine <aposatan@hotmail.com>
To: APO-L@LISTSERV.IUPUI.EDU
Heretofore, I've kept quiet, but I'll try to be original, as the
"Gentleman's Agreement" vs. "All-Male Self-Determination" arguments are
rehashed. Please read below and then follow my argument.
My father pledged an All-Male Fraternity called Alpha Phi Omega, in 1958
(Lambda Delta, Newark Coll. of ENgineering, now NJIT). He was a Scout and a
ROTC member - APO was pretty natural. None the wiser, my father went about
life, had a family. Some 34 years later, his son pledges the same
fraternity, now Co-Ed, in 1992. An Eagle Scout, and a community service
geek, it was a natural. My father, to some surprise, finds it's co-ed, but
no issue. In 1995, his daughter pledges, and he's delighted. All 3 became
VPs of their respective chapters. His daughter is also a Gold Award Girl
Scout, so it's also natural for her to pledge to continue her service.
Some 7 years later, his son marries a female brother, and APO is forever
linked. His grandchildren may become legacies as well. As many brothers fall
in love and get married, it's natural in a fraternity where social
gatherings between females and males lead to romance and perhaps marriage...
or sometimes one night stands, but that's a topic for SOC-L.
The point i am trying to make is that we have a false sense of entitlement
to "OUR" fraternity, which is to say, our concept of APO as we believe it to
be. We pledged, it was this. Well, here's a new idea: It never was "your"
fraternity. A fraternity, as comprised of living people, actives, alumni,
advisors, etc., is in and of itself a malleable entity. Time and the tides
of society reflexively change fraternity and brother. We must not forget
that times change, and change us, and if we are strong, perhaps we change
the times.
What I often hear from either side is that we believe that we are owed a
personal vision of the fraternity. Often times, this personal vision
outweighs in our minds that which is broader. I am unsure if the denial of
All-Male chapter growth in some areas (such as the Deep South where
culturally some Traditionally Black schools may reject APO if it's not
separate) might hurt us. I am by no means politically correct on any issue,
but in understanding morality or ethics or even policy, we must realize that
policy is not based on "our" vision, but rather a wider fratneral view, to
which we are not entitled our will. If change is what you want, I suggest
you submit legislation, argue for its effectiveness, and strike a chord -
perhaps it will resonate.
In Leadership, Friendship and Service,
Rich Quodomine
_________________________________________________________________
Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com
