[20534] in APO-L
Re: Columbine Tragedy
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Kegan J. Baird)
Fri Apr 23 12:14:25 1999
Date: Fri, 23 Apr 1999 10:05:31 -0600
Reply-To: "Kegan J. Baird" <kxbaird@USWEST.COM>
From: "Kegan J. Baird" <kxbaird@USWEST.COM>
To: APO-L@LISTSERV.IUPUI.EDU
hawkeye@ECST.CSUCHICO.EDU wrote:
> In this particular situation, those responsible chose not to be associated
> with anybody but their own little group, and no matter how hard we try, we
> won't be able to change that. They chose to be "outsiders". They had parents
> who were professionals, even a professor if I remember correctly. They could
> have led normal productive lives, but chose not to. Everybody feels alienated
> at some point, most are able to deal with it well, those that don't are the
> ones that we need to reach, yet they won't let us. This will happen again,
> and we'll be asking why we couldn't do anything to stop it, again. The only
> thing we could do would take away basic liberties and freedom from everyone,
> not just those that are disturbed. This isn't a negative view, it's a
> realistic one.
I agree with you that there are youth of this generation that we may never be
able to reach. I would prefer to think that there is no point at which a
teenager is "too far gone" to help, but I am a realist, like yourself. The fact
that I am a realist, however, won't keep me from trying, because we have nothing
to lose and everything to gain. We can not let despair or feelings of
helplessness stop our effort to try to mentor kids, because that is where we
have failed this generation of kids. In this case, yes, they chose not to be
associated with anybody but their own group, but if they'd had a group or a
mentor when they were younger, perhaps they would have not been "loners". There
used to be a lot of community involvement in our youth, but today, most people
aren't involved unless they have kids themselves, and sometimes, not even then.
The fact that one of the boys came from a relatively affluent home means nothing
if the parents were too busy earning a wage to be involved with their child.
We can't just blame the parents, however, for what is essentially a flaw in
society. We are a community, whether we like it or not, and as a community, we
must take an interest in how children are integrated into our community. In our
increasingly litigious society, potential mentors have drawn away from being
involved in our youth because of fear of being sued or accused of sexual
misconduct or molestation. Equally, parents are hesitant to allow their
children out into society for the same reasons. Children who have a reasonable
home life may still grow up to be societal misfits because they have never have
a chance to figure out what their place in society is.
The only way kids can find their place in society is for them to interact and
form relationships in society outside of their families. That is where
mentoring comes in. We have to do everything we can to open ourselves to youth
of all ages, so they can get "the right start in life". We may not be able to
reach everybody, and there may be some kids now that we may never reach, but we
have to try. The ounce of prevention that we start with right now _will_ be the
pound of cure we need tomorrow.
-Kegan
