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daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (teg@Athena.MIT.EDU)
Fri Feb 19 21:44:59 1993
From: teg@Athena.MIT.EDU
To: rumor@Athena.MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 19 Feb 93 21:44:21 EST
The Daily Reamer
February 19, 1993
Volume 42, Number 6
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Bomb Count Continues to Drop
Missiles around the world are being defused with lightning speed. However,
several governments are reporting missing bombs. Apparently, souvenir
hunters are carrying off warheads in memorandum of the War That Wasn't.
So far, the count is down to 3,290 bombs worldwide.
Warren Potter Found Dead
Professor Warren Potter, the creator of cybernetic life-extension technology,
was found murdered yesterday on the 3rd floor of Building 39. He had been
shot several times in the chest, and he had no personal effects on him when
found.
Mutated Body Identified
A source at the MIT Medical Center, who prefers to remain anonymous, reports
that the mutated body found in the basement of Building 10 was, in fact, that
of ACME Representative Frederick Fontana. The identification was made using
dental records.
[GM Note: Any email or eit zephyrs sent yesterday by dmark@athena WERE NOT
SENT IN GAME!]
Schultz Chased By Mob
Student Nathan Schultz told REAMER reporters today that he was assaulted and
then chased by a mob early this morning. He identified his three pursuers as
Jonathan Chance, George Gordon, and Albert St. John-Smythe. The mob ceased
ceased their pursuit when Schultz ran to the military blockade for help. He
was taken to Campus Police Headquarters and later released. The mob escaped
military patrols.
Military Offers No Comment on Wright Body
The military could not be reached for comment today on the death of Robyn
Wright.
ACME Singing Contest Ends With A Bang
The ACME Jingle Contest was rather sparsely attended yesterday. There were
only four entries, including a placebo entry by Prof. Warren Potter, perhaps
the last thing he ever did. The winners were as follows:
3rd Place Kirsten Hubbard Award: ACME Egg Scrambler
2nd Place Mortimer Fane Award: ACME Bagel
Winston Carlton Slicer/Toaster
1st Place Roberta Kilroy Award: ACME Roadrunner Trap
Immediately after the awards were given out, "Professor" Fane, in protest of
the unfair judging, short-circuited his ACME Bagel Slicer/Toaster, causing it
to explode minutes later.
Charles River Monster Sighting
The Charles River Monster was not sighted not stomping furiously on the person
posting bogus purple signs.
Fane War on Coke Continues
Alumnus Mortimer Fane was seen smashing in the replacement coke machine in
Buliding 37 yesterday, apparently in another fit of pique.
Waldenbook Stroke Not Serious
Rumors stating that Professor Joe Waldenbook had suffered a stroke Monday night
were greatly exaggerated. The professor is up and about, although taking it
a bit easy.
Sandra Surpless in Coma
The unconscious body of secretary Sandra Surpless was found in her room
Wednesday night by a military patrol. She is currently being treated at the
MIT Medical Center and is expected to recover sometime next week.
Toscanini's Closes
Toscinini's has closed its doors due to a failure of its latest shipment of
ice cream to arrive. Tosci's employees say they expect the popular ice
cream establishment to reopen once a new supply of ice cream gets through.
----------------------------Administrative------------------------------------
Someone has been posting bogus purple signs in the basements and No Pass Zones
on Campus. If a player is doing this because he has a reason to believe he
can, STOP. Only GMs may make purple signs.
All purple signs are neatly cut, have a specific location, like "16 <-> 8",
and are initialled by a GM. To see what the initials look like, drop by the
Lounge. If you find a bogus purple sign, or especially if you find someone
posting bogus purple signs, PLEASE TELL A GM IMMEDIATELY.
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