[109046] in Cypherpunks
Re: Painting Trees for Bryce and 3D tutorial
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sunder)
Tue Mar 9 13:27:20 1999
Date: Tue, 09 Mar 1999 13:07:58 -0500
From: Sunder <sunder@brainlink.com>
To: "Dennis@DigArts" <digarts@gardenhose.com>
CC: cypherpunks@toad.com
Reply-To: Sunder <sunder@brainlink.com>
*Burp* Louis is dead. He got run over by an NSA SIGINT van trying to do
TEMPEST
monitoring of his computer. You see, Louis was a pirate and the NSA was
trying to prove that he was using an illegal copy of Bryce.
However, Dennis, did you know that your best friends CJ and Jim Bell were
caught? You'd better be careful or you'll wind up sharing cells with them
and calling Bubba your daddy.
Oh sure, you say there's no catch, but hey is that a pizza delivery van
outside your window?
"Dennis@DigArts" wrote:
> We¹re writing to tell you about one of our newest products, Jungle 3D.
> Rather than making a sales pitch, we decided to offer our illustrated
> tutorial ³Painting Trees for Bryce and 3D² instead.
Jungle eh? Yeah, it's a concrete jungle out there in CJ land.
> "Painting Trees² shows you how to create fully masked, dimensional tree
> texture maps using Jungle 3D and Painter. What¹s the catch? There is
> none. We¹ve provided all the stuff you¹ll need including nozzles, lights
> and floaters. There¹s nothing to purchase and there¹s no signing in.
> Just download the file at: http://www.gardenhose.com/pdftutor.htm.
Floaters? Oh yeah, I had a few of those this morning... took about five
flushes to get'em down. These new water saving toilets are really great.
Gotta flush five times to get all the turds down. I'll try your gardenhose
suggestion next time.
> If you work with Bryce, we think you¹ll really like Jungle 3D. It not
> only does ultra realistic trees, it makes fully masked, tiling texture
> maps too. These dimensional looking tiles can create unique visual
> effects, especially when mapped to terrains. That¹s the topic of our
> next "user" tutorial, however. Until then, we hope you have fun while
> learning something new.
Naw, I never liked Bryce. He was too pro government. Always looking for
plump interns to mollest, but of course we never hired any interns. I guess
he's working for Uncle Clinton now. I guess he's already mapped Monica's
terrains. We're really not interested in luser tutorials. Don't worry, we'll
soon be having fun while learning about you. Heh.
> Thanks again for visiting gardenhose.com and for trying DigArts¹
> products. If you¹re a graphic artist, be sure to check out our newest
> product Tubular Neon too.
Neon tubes? Why yeah, we got a few of those in our kitchen. Makes a nice
humming sound when you turn'em on. Makes us feel warm and fuzzy all over.
You should try them, they taste good. Crunchy on the outside, real aroma on
the inside...
> PS We do not wish to impose. If you¹ve received this email in error or
> do not want to be informed of new products or free software, please
> respond with "Remove" in the subject heading.
Pshaw, no problem, intrude anytime you want. Don't worry, we'll have you
removed soon enough. What was your address again? No, your home address, not
your web address. That's right, we might come by for a visit. And yes, that
Van outside is really delivering a pizza, no, that's not an antena, it's a
pizza warmer.
--
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