[41] in Humor
HUMOR: LIAR
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Mon Jan 31 12:27:19 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 31 Jan 94 12:23:28 EST
An oldie, but a goodie.
-Drew
Date: Fri, 28 Jan 1994 23:06:59 -0700
From: Espacionaute Spiff domaine! <matossian@aries.colorado.edu>
...
From: emil@college Mon Jun 8 09:19:31 1992
A Lexicon of Inconspicuously Ambiguous Recommendations
Robert J. Thornton
Letters of recommendation are becoming increasingly
unreliable as a means of evaluating candidates for academic
employment. The chief reason is that the contents are no
longer strictly confidential. In all but the rarest of
cases a letter is apt to be favorable, even when the writer
knows the candidate is mediocre or unqualified. This is
because the writer fears that the candidate may later exer-
cise his legal right to read the letter, and perhaps even
sue if the contents are not to his liking.
While abolishing the practice of requiring letters of
recommendation may at first seem like a good idea, there is
really no better way to get reliable information about a
candidate's qualifications than to ask people who have had
close contact with him or her. What is needed is a means by
which the letter writer can convey unfavorable information
in a way that the candidate cannot perceive as such.
To this end I have developed the Lexicon of Inconspicu-
ously Ambiguous Recommendations, or LIAR. Here are a few
samples:
(1) To describe a candidate who is woefully inept: "I most
enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qual-
ifications whatsoever."
(2) To describe a candidate who is not particularly indus-
trious: "In my opinion you would be very fortunate to
get this person to work for you."
(3) To describe a candidate with lackluster credentials:
"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this
candidate or recommend him too highly."
(4) To describe an ex-employee who had difficulty getting
along with his co-workers: "I am pleased to say that
this candidate is a former colleague of mine."
(5) To describe a candidate who is so unproductive that the
job would be better left unfilled: "I can assure you
that no person would be better for the job."
Any of the above may be used to offer a negative opin-
ion of the personal qualities, work habits, or motivation of
the candidate while allowing the candidate to believe that
it is high praise. In any case the phrases are virtually
litigation-proof.
