[993] in Humor
HUMOR: Where do they go?
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Tue Aug 1 08:48:32 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 01 Aug 1995 08:45:59 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
I think this one made the rounds years & years ago...
-Drew
Date: Mon, 31 Jul 1995 23:34:16 -0700
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
Actually, I think this is the first conscious Dave Barry parody I've seen,
although I've seen lots of people who've adopted elements of his style.
Think before you type!
Question: Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or delete
key on my terminal?
Answer: The characters go to different places, depending on whom you
ask:
1. Catholic Church - The nice characters go to Heaven, where they are
bathed in the light of happiness. The naughty characters are
punished for their sins. Naughty characters are those involved in
the creation of naughty words such as "breast," "sex" and
"contraception."
2. Buddism - If a character has lived rightly and its karma is good,
then after it has been deleted it will be reincarnated as a
different, higher character. Those funny characters above the
numbers on your keyboard will become numbers, numbers will become
letters, and lower-case letters will become upper-case.
3. 20th-century nihilism - Who cares? It doesn't really matter if
they're on the page, deleted, undeleted, underlines, etc. It's
all the same.
4. Mac users - All the characters written on a PC and then deleted go
to straight to PC hell. If you're using a PC, you can probably
see the deleted characters, because you're in PC hell also.
5. Stephen King - Every time you hit the Del key you unleash a tiny
monster inside the cursor who tears the poor unsuspecting
character to shreds, drinks its blood, then eats it, bones and
all. Hah, ha, hah!
6. Dave Barry - The deleted characters are shipped to Battle Creek MI
where they are made into Pop-Tart filling; this explains why
Pop-Tarts are so flammable, while cheap imitations are not
flammable. I'm not making this up.
7. IBM - The characters are not real. They exist only on the screen
when they are needed, as concepts, so to delete them is merely to
deconceptualize them. Get a life.
* ========= Connie Kleinjans (connie@interserve.com) ========= *
* "Humor. It's a dirty job, but someone's got to send it." *
* ======= Humorous, thanks to InterServe, 415-328-4333 ======= *
