[983] in Humor
HUMOR: Is Win95 the Savior?
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (klund@MIT.EDU)
Wed Jul 26 22:23:35 1995
From: klund@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 26 Jul 95 22:20:00 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU
If you have half a brain, you can't help but notice the throng of
publications, analists and net users declaring Windows 95 the Saviour of
the Computer Industry. If you have less than half a brain, you probably
believe it. Could it be?
Let's compare Windows 95 against a widely-accepted Saviour, Jesus of
Nazareth:
Jesus Windows 95
--------------------------------------+------------------------------------
Said, "Surely I come quickly." | Has been promised "any day now."
|
Is taking a lot longer to actually | Is taking a lot longer to actually
arrive. | arrive.
|
Can walk on water. | Can crawl on a 486.
|
Sits in judgement at the pearly gates.| Will be used to judge Bill Gates.
|
Bible says, "In Him, all things are | Windows 95 doesn't even run all
possible." | possible Windows apps.
|
Embodies the Holy Trinity: Father, | Embodies DOS.
Son, and Holy Ghost. |
|
Started life as a carpenter. | Turns perfectly good computers into
| furniture.
|
Born in a manger. | Resembles something found in a
| barn.
|
Remembered for protecting the weak. | Has weak memory protection.
|
Was raised from the dead. | Was created from Windows 3.1
|
Jesus performed great works for | Windows 95 multitasking performance
the multitudes. | barely works.
|
Jesus has no sin. | Windows 95 has no shame.
--------------------------------------+------------------------------------
You decide.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles Forsythe | Windows 95: A another first from Microsoft!
forsythe@onramp.net | The first OS to be obsolete *before* it was released.
