[956] in Humor
HUMOR: Pithy Sayings
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Mon Jul 3 13:14:10 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 03 Jul 1995 13:09:28 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
I may not know what I'm doing, but I know how to do it.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
Double your drive space - delete Windows!
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Assassins do it from behind.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
* ========= Connie Kleinjans (connie@interserve.com) ========= *
* "Humor. It's a dirty job, but someone's got to send it." *
* ======= Humorous, thanks to InterServe, 415-328-4333 ======= *
