[93] in Humor
HUMOR: 99.9% solution
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Tue Feb 22 10:40:25 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 22 Feb 94 10:38:17 EST
From: Espacionaute Spiff domaine! <matossian@aries.colorado.edu>
Forwarded-by: JR Oldroyd <jr@opal.com>
From: dunster@MIT.EDU
Date: Sun, 20 Feb 94 16:34:35 EST
If 99.9% is good enough then...
Two million documents will be lost by the IRS this year.
811,000 faulty rolls of 35 mm film will be loaded this year.
22,000 checks will be deducted from the wrong bank account in
the next 60 minutes.
1,314 phone calls will be misplaced by telecommunication services
every minute.
12 babies will be given to the wrong parents each day.
268,500 defective tires will be shipped this year.
14,208 defective personal computers will be shipped this year.
103,260 income tax returns will be processed incorrectly this year.
2,488,200 books will be shipped in the next 12 months with the wrong cover.
5,517,200 cases of soft drinks produced in the next year will
have no carbonation.
Two plane landings daily at O'Hare International Airport in Chicago
will be unsafe.
3,056 copies of the Wall Street Journal will be missing one of
three sections tomorrow.
18,322 pieces of mail will be mishandled in the next hour.
291 pacemaker operations will be performed incorrectly this year.
880,000 credit cards in circulation will turn out to have incorrect
cardholder information on their magnetic strips.
$9,690 will be spent every day into the future on defective, often
unsafe, sporting equipment.
55 malfunctioning automatic teller machines will be installed in the
next 12 months.
22,000 incorrect drug prescriptions will be shipped this year.
144,500 mismatched pairs of shoes will be shipped this year.
$761,900. will be spent in the next 12 months on tapes and compact
discs that won't play.
107 incorrect medical procedures will be performed today.
315 entries in Webster's Third New International Dictionary of the
English Language will be misspelled.
Source: Insight, Syncrude Canada
