[905] in Humor
HUMOR: Dating Terms
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Fri Jun 2 10:46:20 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 02 Jun 1995 10:36:58 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Thu, 1 Jun 95 09:40:32 PDT
From: Connie_Kleinjans@Novell.COM (Connie Kleinjans)
Subject: HUMOR: Dictionary of Dating
From: "Michael Beyries" <mbeyries@smtpgate.Chelmsford.Telebit.COM>
FW: Dictionary of Dating
DICTIONARY OF DATING
====================
ATTRACTION the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
LOVE AT
1st SIGHT what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely
choosy people meet.
DATING the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time,
and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom
you don't especially like in the present and will learn
to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing
special pills, inserting a diaphram, using a condom,
and dating repulsive men.
EASY a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual
morals of a man.
EYE CONTACT a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to
a man that she is interested in him. Despite being
advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking
a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the
shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes
are not located in her chest.
FRIEND a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who
has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally
unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted to
by the man as "playing hard to get."
INTERESTING a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all
the talking.
IRRITATING
HABIT what the endearing little qualities that initially
attract two people to each other turn into after a
few months together.
LAW OF
RELATIVITY how attractive a given person appears to be is directly
proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more
often than he does.
SOBER condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love
